The Art of Getting Him
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Publish Date & Number: 2019/01
Copyright ©2019 RooninStark
Hello dear ,
Throughout history, the relationship between men and women has been a subject whose answer has been one of the most sought. The philosopher is not just a poet or lover but rather one who answers dozens of obscure and pertinent questions concerning the very love that resides in the corner of man’s mind. Roonin Stark’s book may not answer all the questions you have in mind, but it will give you everything you need to know in order to impress the man you’re interested in and even to get him. If you apply Roonin Stark’s advice properly, reaching happiness will not be just a dream. This e-book, which is based on the psychological tendencies of Roonin Stark and many men he knows, conveys the road map he has made for you female readers.
Roonin is not technically a writer. He’s not someone who has a certificate of expertise in relationships. He is just someone who has observed relationships very well and has made some useful determinations based on his observations. So why did he write/is writing books about relationships? The story began like this: Years ago, Ayla, a close friend of Roonin, fell in love with a man. Her passion grew, but she couldn’t get him to pay attention to her. Whatever she did, she wasn’t able to impress him. Ayla was forced to watch even as the man she was in love with got involved with other women. One day, she came to the point where she began to cry uncontrollably while having a conversation with her friends at a party. At this party, where Roonin also was, on the one hand, Ayla was crying and on the other hand, she was speaking of her unreciprocated love. Everyone in their own right was giving advice to Ayla. ‘Do this, do that,’ etc. Ayla listened to all of this counsel. When she first came together with the man she was in love with, she applied all the advice she had received from her friends, but it was only Roonin’s advice that had a positive effect. So, Ayla consulted Roonin again. As Roonin’s advice continued to receive positive results, she was no longer able to do anything without first asking him and ended up receiving and implementing a ton of advice she had received from Roonin in order to impress this man. After almost 4 months, she started flirting with the man she was in love with, and soon after they began dating. Due to Roonin’s advice, within 4 months she began dating this man who she had had a platonic relationship for 3 years. This is just the beginning of the story. There’s more…
One day, Roonin received a call. Ayla was the one that was calling. A girlfriend of hers had told her that she needed help just as Ayla had gotten previously. ‘I told her about you. She knows about the changes you made with me and she’s begging to see you. She asked whether Roonin was willing to help or not. Even though Roonin wasn’t completely willing, he didn’t turn down her offer and said yes. She succeeded within 3 months. Before long, two others knocked on Roonin’s door. He helped a total of 4 people catch their love. However, he ended up realizing that he was spending more time with his friends than with his own life. Roonin’s family suggested that he write about what he knew. “Words vanish, but writing remains. You should write down what you know. So, instead of talking for hours to people who want your help, give them what you have written and let them read it. They will then have the information they need and you end up saving time.” Roonin did this. After that, anytime someone asked him for help, he would say “Give me your email address, I will tell you everything you need to know by email. You’ll apply what you read.” In this manner, that first year 16 more people got what they wanted in their love life. Roonin gained a small-scale reputation among the friends of his friends and their friends. After that, a friend of Roonin’s said, “I think you should take this ability seriously, and you should go bigger with what you have written. Why shouldn’t more people from all over the world also benefit from it? This idea sounded right to Roonin and so he decided to write what he knew in a book, and he did this very thing.
This is the story behind Roonin’s writing and publishing books on relationships between men and women. It is a personal work that started with the helping of a friend and in the end ended up spreading out across the world.
Roonin follows such a path: After first ensuring that you make positive changes about yourself, then he conveys what you should and should not do to influence the man you are interested in. The course of the book first contributes to you changing yourself. As you change, the man who you are in love with also will begin acting differently towards you.
Roonin writes, “Gaining a man’s interest and maintaining that interest is dependent upon many factors that are dependent and independent of one another. You can’t make a man fall in love with you by doing just one thing, just like snapping your fingers, but if you do all the things that need to be done, you can have a lasting impact upon that man. Therefore, you should look at the information I give you as a whole and take all of it seriously. I know very well how the male brain works. I also know quite well the mistakes that women frequently make, and I will share with you everything I know. You’ll see yourself how you’re making strides towards happiness once you put into practice everything I suggest step by step. Don’t worry, it won’t be difficult, because on the road map I’ve prepared, I’m mostly going to ask you to change yourself. The biggest part of getting a man to fall in love with you is to change yourself. That’s because when you change, he also starts to change. If you can consistently discipline yourself and apply the suggestions I put forward, it will be easy to get him to fall in love with you.”
Just as in every relationship type, I give great importance to sincerity in relationships between men and women. For this reason, I ask that you really do implement the information in this e-book towards the man you are interested in and with whom you are desiring to have a relationship. Don’t try to get a man to fall in love with you as part of a bet, that is ambitious, or for whatever reason that you do not actually love. Even if I don’t find out, I would be very upset to find that a little of my seasoning broke another’s heart, and so I ask that you are sensitive about this.
Another important request is: PLEASE DON’T BE ANGRY WITH ME!
I may have used some harsh words when trying to reveal the blind spots that might exist in the minds of my female readers. Throughout my book, I’ve warned these readers of many things by saying ‘don’t do this, don’t that,’ or I speak of the common mistakes women make. That’s because I wrote this book primarily for my female readers, and I only have the responsibility to advise these readers throughout my book. Therefore, women are the target of my words. When you read my words (and you will a lot), please don’t be angry with me. My goal is to give you some bad examples in order to help you to anticipate various negative situations that may end in your defeat due to the fire of love and thus help you prevent potential mistakes.
I would like to thank my new readers for finding my book worthy of reading.
-I would also like to thank my older readers who have shared with me by email their knowledge and feelings and who have let me know that I have made a difference in their love lives which gave me confidence.
The Art of Getting Him
Let’s get to it, girls. I don’t like being long-winded.
There are as many male mindsets as there are men in the world. Their personal tastes, the education they’ve received, what they’ve learned from their family, what they’ve learned from social life, and hundreds of other subjects are all a world in themselves. Just like you, my female readers are so different from each other!
Now, to you who is reading this book!
What kind of man is he that holds that special place for you? What has he learned from life? What kind of family did he grow up in? What kind of traumas and successes has he experienced in his life before you? You may know the answer to these and similar questions about this man, but I couldn’t possibly know them. Yes, it’s impossible to know the answer to these questions, but I don’t need to. That’s because there is a fact: Most men interested in the opposite sex work with stimuli very similar to each other. The model of a woman they will find attractive is codified in their subconscious. If you were to ask him, he wouldn’t be able to describe the ideal female model in words, and even most men would say, “I don’t have a certain type, the entire process is important to me,” but every one of them has their own ideal model of a woman in their subconscious. When a man sees a woman who behaves in accordance with the ideal female model in his subconscious, he becomes attracted to her. As long as the woman who has impressed him continues this behavior that is in accordance with what his subconscious accepts as the ideal woman, his impression of her increases, and in the end, his interest begins to turn into romance. In other words, the secret is to capture the ideal female model lying deep in his consciousness, to capture both external appearances as well as behavior. Not just one or the other but both in order to reach the highest level!
You could be an incredibly beautiful woman, but if you don’t act right, you won’t be able to have a lasting effect on a man. Beauty may be appealing for 3 months or even perhaps 6 months, but there will come a day when he will begin to distance himself from you if he decides that your behavior is not appealing
You may just be average in terms of external appearance or even less than average, but if you behave in the right way, you could still have a lasting effect on a man. The beauty of the behaviors you exhibit will multiply your attractiveness. Imagine how good a result you would get if you were to better your appearance.
So, it’s not just about physical beauty. It’s about everything that will attract him to you at the end of the day! The formula: To understand what the ideal woman is and to work towards that.
In the past, when I tried to tell this to women in my circle of friends who were seeking my help, some of them would respond, “I can’t change for anyone; I am what I am. The one who loves me should love me as I am.”
And I would respond by saying, “You want my help, because the man you’re after isn’t going to love you the way you are, don’t you? All right, is it should be like then, then just let this man go and wait for the man who will love you the way you are.”
When they would hear these words, they would look confused, but they would think for a few seconds and see that I was right. If you are targeting a man and if you want to impress him, you have to appeal to his taste. The formula is this simple. With this formula, there is no reason to become stubborn. Otherwise, you will just have to make do with the man who comes to you randomly. You can’t expect more than that.
If you say, ‘No, even if I remain a woman that he’s not going to like, he should still come and fall in love with me’ and you find a formula for this, then don’t hesitate; write a book about it. Believe me: You will become quite famous, and you’d make millions of dollars. That’s because no one in the world has found such a formula yet.
You also have to erase these from your mind:
-Give me something to say that will make him fall in love with me!
-Give me something to do that would let me get him right now!
-Give me something to do so that he doesn’t look at anyone else!
There is no such world!
You cannot snap your fingers and get him just like that.
Winning someone’s mind and heart is only possible at the end of a particular process. This may take up to 3 months for some and 6 for others, etc. It may even be longer or shorter, but in summary, it is a process. Commitment requires techniques and patience. In short, you need to work at it.
During this process, I will give you every little piece of work that you need to do in a sequential fashion. As long as you are attentive to what I say and implement my suggestions patiently, you will finally put each of the pieces together forming a complete picture. Since I anticipate that each reader will be in a different situation, I will begin at zero and work upwards towards the highest level. Thus, I ask you to read each step without skipping any topic. You will also see how you begin to head towards happiness by comprehending the importance of everything I suggest and after implementing all these things or perhaps determining the things that you are currently doing wrong and fixing them. That’s because when you change yourself, he will also begin to change.
So let’s start…
1. First, Examine Yourself
I also talked about patience along with the other important things, but I didn’t elaborate on it enough. I’ll do that now. We need to discuss being patient before moving on to the details in this chapter.
There is a huge mistake that many women make. This mistake is such a mistake that it can end the romance you want with the man you’re interested in before it even begins. The name of this mistake is ‘impatience.’
One of the biggest enemies a woman can have is the impatience caused by her desire to be romantically involved with the man she likes. Experiencing some ambiguity with that man just in order to be with him as soon as possible can result in short-term, superficial happiness, but the wisdom you show towards such impatience will result in you attaining long-term, true happiness.
Think about a game. On one hand, there is a team that has been regularly training for quite a while, but on the other hand, there is an improvised team that only rents a field and plays when they feel like it. At the end of the day, which team do you think has a higher chance of catching of winning? Of course, the team that has trained and prepared themselves has a higher chance. This is the same when it comes to love. You shouldn’t get in the game until you have properly prepared yourself.
Yes, I understand your mood. You’re in love, you’re quite impressed with him, you want to constantly be in contact with him, “What’s he doing now? Who’s he with?” You want to be with him all the time. You want to hear his voice, see his face, etc. If you can’t do these things, at least you want to text with him, right? Forget about being involved with him, you would give the world just to chat with him on WhatsApp for 1 hour, right? Yes! I know, it’s really an emotion that’s unpredictable and that you can’t control; it’s hard to be patient.
Okay. What about this question:
Does he also want the things you want?
You wouldn’t be reading this book right now if he were experiencing the same feelings towards you. You’d probably be doing something happily together, right? So, I assume the answer is “No, he does not experience those same feelings.”
If that’s the case, this is completely your problem! Not his!
You must be patient. You shouldn’t be on the field until you get to the level where you can win. You shouldn’t have to keep texting him for hours, you shouldn’t insist on meeting him, you should avoid making moves when the situation hasn’t yet warranted it. First, you have to get to the level that will have him wanting everything that you want. You shouldn’t do anything to win him over until you’ve become the woman that will get him excited, thrill him, and that he can’t get out of his mind. That’s because the things that you’re going to do due to the impatience of love are probably more likely than not the wrong moves and will end up repelling him rather than causing him to find you attractive.
Don’t risk it. Life can be experienced forward but hindsight is 20/20. In other words, at the moment you can live fast and uncontrollably with the passion of love, but one day when looking back, you may see that you have made a lot of mistakes and live to regret it. Trust me. I’m telling you to be patient now so that tomorrow or the next day when you look back you won’t see a mistake. This is really important! You shouldn’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. You can’t pull him into something that he doesn’t want at the moment just because you can’t wait. If you try to pull him in, you may end up losing him when you’re just beginning. The worst part of it is this: Women who make this mistake don’t realize that they are doing something wrong. Everything they do appears to be the only formula that will give them the most logical result, i.e., love. That’s because their eyes are closed by the veil of love. They make mistake upon mistake. They quickly tire out the man by these series of mistakes.
Don’t make the same mistake! Calm down and lean on the information in this book. It will take a maximum of 3 days to read this book even during your busiest time. He’s not going anywhere. There’s nothing you need to rush. First, turn yourself into the ideal form of a woman in his subconscious. Then you’ll start all your moves. Trust me, the rest will be easy anyway. The most important thing you need to focus on is changing yourself. When we turn you into the form of the ideal woman in his subconscious, the rest will be as simple as water off a duck’s back. Thus, you should focus on changing yourself, not him.
Before you try to have a good relationship with the man whose heart you want to win you have to design yourself according to his need. You can only begin to make your moves and to take action once you are certain that you have fully taken on his idea of what an ideal female would be. I’m going to give you one more example so you can fully understand the importance of this step. Suppose you want to get the lead role in a movie. You’re going to audition for it, but you haven’t studied acting. Or forget the educational aspect, you haven’t even rehearsed at home. Other people who are auditioning have technical knowledge and have been educated in acting. What do you think is your chance that you will catch the eye of those who are running that audition? If you don’t have an incredible innate talent, zilch! What’s even worse is that you can do such a bad job that the people who are managing the audition will jot down your name giving instructions to those at the door to not even let you inside so as to not waste their time. So you won’t even get a second chance! The mistakes you make at this audition could be so great that you’ll never get the opportunity to fix them. The man you want to get may not give you another chance either.
I think that this last example has portrayed even better how important it is to be patient and to focus on designing yourself while being patient.
Now you who is reading this book!
You may already have become acquainted with the guy you’re been interested in.
Or, you may have never met him and only have been attracted to him from a distance; you might not have even spoken with him once.
It doesn’t matter which one you are. You should wait until you have fully designed yourself and make no noticeable move until then. You shouldn’t try to find love until you’ve read this entire set of books; you shouldn’t do any move he will notice.
I seem to hear a lot that those who are already meeting with the man they are interested in are now saying “How come? Shouldn’t we talk? Should we cut off our communication?” No, don’t cut it off, but for as long as you are meeting, don’t play tricks on him trying to push him towards being involved with you. Don’t do anything you think will impress him. Has anything worked up until now? They probably won’t work after now either! Don’t try to pull him into a romance. Pulling a man who hasn’t been interested in you enough into a romance and sentimentality isn’t much different than harassment. Don’t do that to him! Don’t be the one who is calling, texting, or trying to meet him every chance she gets. Don’t put forth a dominant personality. Be neutral for a while. When he doesn’t call and ask for you, don’t start nagging. Don’t continue to write dozens of messages one after another when he sees your messages but is slow to reply or perhaps doesn’t even reply. Don’t expect him to pay you attention. Don’t be aggressive or show your sadness when he upsets you by not paying attention to you. Don’t nag. In summary, don’t be a boring woman and don’t suffocate the man. When he sees your name on his telephone screen don’t make him say, “Come on, not again!” Don’t make him carry any responsibility for you. Don’t be a burden.
Give both yourself and him an ‘Idle Period’ for a while. Think of it as taking a rest for a while. You know how the engine runs idly but it works sweetly with the least amount of fuel. So you’re not going to cut him off at the moment but rather just keep him idle. If he calls and he wants to get together, meet with him, speak to him, but meet with him without trying to impress/get him. Please also take note of the warnings I mentioned in the paragraph above!
(By the way, I want to leave a bonus book called “Meeting and Developing a Dialogue with Him” to the end, which has been written specifically for those who platonically love a man and have never actually met him. After reading the entire book set, you can move on to this bonus book to learn how you can meet and develop a dialogue with him. Please follow this advice; don’t think, “First, I’ll read the bonus book, I’ll meet the man, and then I’ll implement what I’ve learned in this book. If you do this, you’ll make a big mistake.)
If we’ve agreed up until this point:
If you feel like you’re already set in a certain discipline and if you’ve decided to be patient, let’s now examine and, of course, change you.
I’ll hold up a mirror for you for a bit. Let’s see what you are. A large part of this book is made up of us holding up this mirror and focusing on modeling you after his ideal woman. That’s because, as I mentioned at the beginning, the secret is to model yourself after his ideal woman! As I hold up the mirror to you, I want you to be the lens and to be brutally honest about it. You need to be able to see your own weaknesses. Most people think they are exceptionally ideal or at least close to ideal, but this is often not true. When a person isn’t able to recognize her own shortcomings, she won’t be able to correct them. For this very reason, be objective towards yourself, and let’s find these shortcomings together fixing them to the extent that no man will find fault with them.
You know my story. I have stored up quite a lot of moments in my story, all of which began when I started helping my friends around me. I made a lot of observations. I came up with some profiles as I personally conducted interviews face-to-face or through email. My mission as a kind of love doctor has contributed a lot to what I know now. One thing I have learned through this experience is: There are some common traits of women who are not able to get the man they are interested in.
The most common traits are:
- Being very needy for the man’s attention, much like a baby,
- Putting the man they are interested in on a pedestal,
- When things don’t go the way they want in life, they immediately decide to quit the game or starts resenting the man or life itself,
- They’re always worried about the future, hopeless, or fretting over/anxious about simple things that haven’t even come about yet,
- These women are not even able to find complete satisfaction in their other relationships let alone the man they are interested in.
Think about it. Which of the 5 traits above do you possess? All of them? One of them?
In reality, the number doesn’t matter. If you do even one of them, it means there’s a problem in your personal development. Some of you may do more of whom, others less, but in the end, you still have the same problem. Please don’t be upset with me. I have to hold up a mirror to you and let you see yourself. If I’m brutally honest, I can honestly help you. Consider me your current best friend who says bitter words but is trying to give a sweet reward. I’m going to put 3 stars below. These 3 stars are a sign to take a break from reading and to think about this as much as you want. A break to read and think through the 5 traits above before continuing to read below… Please take your time and think about your past up until now, thinking upon it. Do you demonstrate one or more of the 5 traits listed above?
Let me continue if your break to think is over…
Now, if you’re one that’s saying, “Ah, now why have we begun talking about personal development? Come on, give me methods on how to get him,” then you haven’t truly understood what I’ve been saying up to this point. If that’s the case, let me remind you of just one thing again; if you don’t change, your love life also won’t change! What we call ‘Personal Development’ is an important part of becoming the ideal woman. In other words, it’s the very foundation of change that will turn you into the ideal woman.
The secret to real success in any area, from business to your love life, is hidden in how far you go to develop yourself. The person that improves herself personally on a daily basis, and thus develops her own character, will also develop the interaction she has with those around her, her communication, and what she produces. She will become a more effective, efficient, and happy individual socially. She will become much more competent when dealing with both big and little issues. The best investment a person can make in herself is to put forth effort in developing herself. That’s because this effort will give her a great advantage towards everyone, not just today or towards one particular individual.
So, you’ve decided to buy and read this book, and so you’ve actually already made some sort of investment in your own personal development, but it’s not just about reading. You have to incorporate what you read into your own world so that something really does change in your mentality and so that your approach towards various events will change naturally. The change you will end up experiencing as you go through this book will do away with the woman who answered yes to the 5 items mentioned above and even other things that I haven’t yet presented to you. Not only that, but you’ll also find things throughout the book that will positively impact your own style. After finding the change we want, the moves we put on the man and our approach towards him will automatically change. Your posture will change, your look will change, the way you talk, the things you talk about, the things you see as an advantage, the things you see as a disadvantage, the things you don’t find important or that which you will find important afterward, and much more will all change! You’re going to love yourself when you take this head knowledge and allow it to transform your character. And he will like this new you, too!
We’re going to look at the impression you might be giving those around you and in particular that man.
In this section, I’ll show you whether or not this information has anything to do with the impression you are leaving on him, and I’ll give you a lot of pertinent hints. If you aren’t in dialogue with the man you are interested in yet, the information in this section will also teach you what you need to change in yourself before you meet him.
Impression… Very important!
According to the law known as Halo Effect, we are inclined to hold a person or event as unequivocally positive due to only one positive trait, and likewise, according to the Devil Effect, we are inclined to hold a person or event as unequivocally negative due to only one negative trait. All this takes place in as little as 7 seconds. Research shows that 93% of a face-to-face impression is based on nonverbal data, such as appearance and body language. The words you use make up only 7% of the impression. If it is a phone call, 70% of how you are perceived is based on your tone and 30% based on your words. These statistics apply only to first impressions. Experts state that “If the first impression you give in those first 7 seconds is not good, it will take hours if not months to fix it.”
Those who have never met the guy they’re interested in are a bit more fortunate in this regard because they will get in the field only after first learning how to make a perfect start with this book. Those who have already met with and talked to the man they want to get may have many things that need to be corrected. Don’t worry about it; I’ll make sure you’re either trained properly before you step on the court for the first time, that the mistakes you are making are fixed, or that you are able to create a new positive impression. But first, let me tell you a story about the power of an impression, or rather the memory of one of my girlfriends. The person mentioned in this memory is a celebrity. She is a very beautiful and a very successful film actress who many women are crazy about. I won’t name her here so she won’t be offended. Besides, it’s not important who she is; it’s important what we can learn from the story.
My girlfriend told me:
“About 1.5 years ago when I was walking down the street looking down at the ground, I could sense a man a few steps in front of me with great stature and a great physique come towards me. I told myself that I caught his attention and I sensed it but I hadn’t even looked at him yet. This man had such a great physique that though I was staring down at the sidewalk his attractiveness was captivating me. I could see him even though I wasn’t looking! Within a split second, his shoes entered the picture, and I was like, “What kind of shoes are those?” and I looked up and looked into his face. I saw who he was then. No friend, this man’s real attractiveness was not reflected on television screens or the pages of a newspaper. Even a woman not shy like me felt the need to avoid eye contact because of his good looks! He was that good-looking. Heavenly! However, these shoes, which I couldn’t even describe to myself, left such a strange impression on me that even if this man came up to me and asked me out I’d have to think as to whether I would accept his proposal or not. I would never have thought that I’d even consider rejecting such a man, but at that moment, he really lost all his attractiveness to me. I can’t say they were old shoes; I can’t even say they were out of fashion. It was just really weird… I can’t even describe it, because of something like shoes, a person can find such a handsome, rich, and reputable man repulsive.”
The main thing I want to emphasize by putting this story is, of course, not to “pay attention to the shoes you’re wearing.” Don’t limit it to your shoes or what you’re wearing! It could be your behavior, gestures, approach to events, etc. What I wanted to say through this story was that whatever the reason is, you’re leaving a somewhat poor impression and how hard it will be to overcome the negative impression you’ve left in his mind.
I’ve prepared some relevant questions to help you evaluate and look from the outside in on your own situation regarding the impression you are leaving. Please answer the questions I’ve prepared honestly (honest to yourself). Do not rush in answering some of the questions you’re not sure about, no matter what this book is going to be by your side. You can take your time and answer them calmly. There will be two categories of questions: Physical appearance and mood. The answers you give will help us figure out what impression you are leaving on those around you.
Now, please open my first bonus book, Bonus 1 kitabı üğeliğinizde bulunmamakta. Satın Almak için Tıkla! I ask that when you finish that book, you return to this book and continue where you left off.
After the book “Impression Test & Make Me Over,” breaking off your changes and correcting your deficiencies is next.
Breaking off one’s chains is one of the most important issues for mankind. People have the most difficulty making changes to themselves. For many, it is extremely difficult to escape from the strongholds imprisoning them. In fact, the issue is not escaping, realizing that there is a need to try to escape or even daring to try to escape if in fact the need has been recognized. Rather, the key to this is in our hands, and the only thing we need to do is to put the key in and turn. Once you taste that freedom, the rest is easy. You’ll even begin to find pleasure in the change.
After reading everything in “Impression Test & Make Me Over,” you have probably understood that there are physical and behavioral things that you need to change, but it’s not enough just to understand. You have to take action in order to make those changes. In other words, you have to break off your chains and correct your deficiencies.
Throughout the years, many of my clients say, “Oh, I know, you’re right. I need to change you you’ve mentioned,” when I show them some of their deficiencies, but even if they’ve given credence to what I’ve said, for some of my clients, they continue to ignore my advice. They haven’t been able to break off the chains in their mind, and so they have failed to change. This neglect has quite delayed or even made it impossible for them to be the man they want. Those who broke off their chains have reached their goal in a much shorter time.
What’s in common between those that ignored my advice was that they waited for me to give them 1-2 moves to create magic and expected me to give them some talismans that would allow them to get the man in a snap of their fingers. Souls that are lazy love to take the ‘shortcut.’ Shortcuts are nice, but some things don’t have a shortcut. Since we’ve come to this point, let me remind you: “Gaining a man’s interest and maintaining that interest is dependent upon many factors that are dependent and independent of one another. You can’t make a man fall in love with you by doing just one thing, just like snapping your fingers, but if you do all the things that need to be done, you can have a lasting impact upon that man. Therefore, you should look at the information I give you as a whole and take all of it seriously. The biggest part of getting a man to fall in love with you is to change yourself. That’s because when you change, he also starts to change. If you can consistently discipline yourself and apply the suggestions I put forward, it will be easy to get him to fall in love with you.”
Don’t leave my advice in the book. Take action. Change! Breaking off your chains means taking action. Experts say that people prefer to stay where they are rather than stepping into change because they find it safe even if they are dissatisfied with the situation. Don’t make that mistake!
Be honest with yourself. You’ve scrutinized yourself with the test you did. Are you satisfied with its result? If your answer is no and you’re ready to break off your chains, then it’s time for you to correct your deficiencies. When you’re done correcting your deficiencies, you’ll have at least gotten to the first stage of getting the man you want. Please don’t forget that this study is not just about him but at the same time it is ‘You’ that will take the lead role. Think of the “Make Me Over” chapter as if you were playing a game with yourself. Allow the information in the bonus book to remain with you. Bring it to life.
If the day comes where you don’t need this book anymore, don’t stop renewing yourself. Don’t forget that our world, which is constantly in motion, can bring up new deficiencies every day. There is no end to development. Every new day is another opportunity to make yourself over. When you look in the mirror every new day, if you’re not satisfied with the person you see, the man you are interested in won’t be either. So, break off your chains, get out of your comfort zone, and don’t stop improving and renewing yourself.
Keep in mind: Those who can break off their chains will reach their goal in a much shorter time.
We meet a lot of people in the market, at school, at work, on the subway, and in various other places, right? There are people who were not at all interested in as well as those we are. We look at people; we observe them. Then, we realize the feelings they’ve impressed upon us. We determine who’s appealing, who’s not, and much more…
Think silently about those people who say, “Hmm, he looks nice” or “What a lovely woman.” What were their common features? They probably were well-groomed without a hair out of place. Maybe you liked their hairstyle, maybe the sweetness of their expression, maybe it was their wardrobe, or maybe their physical attractiveness. There could be a lot of reasons.
Interestingly enough, all of our reason to like or dislike our first impression stem from the same reasons. In other words, no matter how different our cultures, lifestyles, or interests are, mankind moves past their first impression in almost the same manner. However, there are some different criteria that come into play for men. “Men’s Roadmap to Attraction” generally works as follows:
- They like the feminine waft of the women they see/feel
- They like the naïve smile they see on their face / Positive signal
- They cannot remain indifferent to behaviors that make him feel like a man / Emotion
Now I will explain these articles in detail because I can clearly say that with the experience I gained from my clients; Women who have difficulty in getting the man they want, who need help have serious deficiencies related to these 3 items.
3.1) A Woman’s Feminine Waft
In particular, the advertising industry tries to get these sexy women in our minds in order to fulfill their own purposes, but being sexy isn’t wearing a long slit dress or lipstick. I mean, what makes a woman sexy is not just a sexy appearance.
Having a feminine waft is the most important factor in making a woman completely sexy. That’s because ‘femininity’ is a temperament, a spirit rather than just an image. If you have such a spirit, it means you will always be sexually attractive.
In reality, every woman innately possesses this energy, but living conditions, their culture, and a whole host of other reasons cause this energy to gradually decrease or completely dissipate in the female. For example, there are families who are overprotective of their girls. They worry that their daughter will be hurt. Particularly, they are afraid that their daughters will be hurt by men. Of course, it’s necessary to protecting their child but going overboard is also harmful. A woman who has been raised in such a family learns to be afraid of exactly what her family has been trying to protect her from and may even end up unconsciously adopting a masculine mindset in order to protect herself from the dangers that her parents have taught her. And she can begin exhibiting more masculine behaviors in place of her natural feminine behaviors thinking that it would be a sort of protective shield. Another important factor is work life. Especially in sectors where males dominate, women tend to adopt a more masculine mindset. Or perhaps the men in your family aren’t doing their jobs good enough. Maybe your father has an outstanding debt or what he brings home isn’t comfortable in your eyes and so you try to close that gap; this process will move you slowly towards a more masculine nature. Perhaps you were married and are now divorced, and you have children. And perhaps your ex-husband is not fulfilling his financial and emotional responsibilities, and so you are trying to close that gap for the sake of your children. I can write dozens of similar examples. These examples and, even more, a woman’s humor, body language, and mindset are transformed from a female one to a masculine one.
The masculinity I’m talking about here isn’t the masculine look you see the second you look at a woman. When you look at her, yes, she is a woman, and there is nothing masculine immediately understood from her movements; however, when you start spending time with her, after a while you begin to feel that there is a man hidden deep within her feminine look. No matter how much she technically is a woman and no longer how beautiful she may be if any man senses that man hidden deep within her, he will not find her attractive.
I saw this masculinity in a large part of my clientele. When I told them what I saw, many were unable to believe this fact regarding themselves when they first heard it. If you had witnessed as many people as I have who didn’t know the truth about themselves, you wouldn’t have been shocked.
Most of my clients had lost their feminine waft. Some had lost a lot, others less, but in the end, they had this problem. You know, I’m always saying, “a lot of things have to be done in order to be able to get a man’s heart/mind, and each one of these is a piece of the puzzle,” and feminine waft is one of the important pieces.
There are women who camp for months with special trainers paying tons of money to regain their feminine energy.
I hope that you don’t need to do this much.
If you have such a wound in your soul, you need to begin to get rid of this situation. Otherwise, you need to know that you are not going to be able to leave long and lasting impressions on any man. One of the greatest rewards for anyone is for them to be completely at peace with their own nature. You need to do this in order to strengthen yourself spiritually and for your social and romantic relationships to be healthy.
One of the questions I get from my clients most is: “The man I’m interested in treats me like I’m his buddy. What should I do?”
So, I start looking into possible reasons by conducting a question and answer session, and I let my client know some of my findings. And I always get this response: “Yes, I guess I’m creating this opportunity. I’ve now noticed how I’ve approached him doing masculine things.”
Although they may not say the exact same thing, this is always the essence of the responses I receive.
He acts like he’s a buddy of yours because you’re creating this feeling or this idea with the man within.
“Everything looks as if it’s going right, but when he looks at me it’s as if he is looking at his buddy rather than seeing a woman.” That’s because you’re creating this with the man within!
Increase your feminine energy!
You can do this through mental exercises. Yes, you’re right, you weren’t raised like a princess. The conditions of life and some misfortunes may have forced and is continuing to force you to switch to a more masculine form, but shake that off. Don’t fall for that. When you increase your feminine energy, you will see that your attractiveness in a man’s eye will increase considerably.
If you have feminine energy, then you don’t need a miniskirt or red lipstick, or other unnatural things to make you sexy. You’ll show off your femininity to everyone around you and especially that man who is special to you without them. It will seep out of you.
As I just said, there are many camps and workshops focused on increasing your feminine energy. I can’t take you to a camp, but I can say this: The first step to increasing this energy is awareness, and the next step is doing mental exercises. I hope that what I’ve written above has completely helped your awareness. However, doing mental exercises is up to you.
What I mean by mental exercises is to meditate on and affirm this topic. Just like the information I’ve given above, you need to think about and try to find whatever is damaging your feminine waft throughout your life. What you’ll find will show you that there are situations in your life that have blinded your femininity, and these are deeply ingrained in your mind. Perhaps you’ve adopted more of a masculine form as a kind of protective shield or perhaps as sort of a survival instinct. In order to slowly get rid of this masculine form, you have to start pushing yourself in the opposite direction. You can begin pushing yourself in this opposite direction by thinking/continuing to think about this issue periodically. After a while, you’ll begin to notice that your feminine waft is increasing in your attitude.
In order to increase your feminine energy, you usually need to think about the following:
- – Getting rid of negative subconscious codes about being a woman/female
- – Getting rid of subconscious codes regarding aspiring to be masculine or putting masculinity on a pedestal
- – Thinking about getting free of your feelings of inadequacy and helplessness
- – To cross out all the negative situations you’ve had in the past with the opposite sex, to shake them off, and to begin to think positively in their place.
If you paid attention, you’ll notice that these 4 items are aimed at a change in mindset.’ You’ll need to accept that you might have been offended by feminine energy, and by spending time thinking about it, you’ll be able to reject this mindset and in its place increase your feminine energy through positive beliefs. It won’t happen immediately; it’ll be a process, but if you don’t ignore it and you take your time, you and everyone else will begin to notice.
Don’t forget this! Men who communicate with a woman with high feminine energy see it as a place where they can increase their masculine energies, and in the end, they feel happier around such women.
If you do that, you’re going to get a little closer to the ideal female model buried in the man’s mind.
3.2) A Naive Smile
In this section, I need to talk about some scientific research. I think one of the most common scientific experiments has to do with ‘smiling/laughing.’
In a study conducted by Wayne State University, the cards of pre-1950 major league baseball players were examined. The researchers wanted to find out how long the players lived based on the size of their smiles. They found that the players who didn’t smile in their photos lived an average of 72 years, and the players who had a huge smile lived for an average of 80 years. For many people who are healthy, 8 years might not seem like much, but for one who is on her deathbed, if the grim reaper were to come and say, “I’ll let you live 8 more years,” wouldn’t that mean the world to her? I mean, 8 years is a pretty good offer.
The study was an example of how a smile can increase one’s lifespan. Let’s see what else there is…
As a result of a study conducted at Penn State University, experts concluded that “Laughter makes us more attractive and polite. At the same time, it makes us appear more competent. In other words, it gives the message of ‘I’m in control, man, and I’m satisfied with my situation.’”
Ron Gutman, an author/advisor who has done a lot of research on smiling, says, “If you want to show off a good and self-confident look, reduce stress, improve your marriage, and feel like you just found $25,000 in the pocket of a jacket I haven’t worn for years or if you want a long, healthy, and happy life for yourself and those around you, then smile!”
There is a lot of research done on the smile, but I don’t need to ramble on about it. Let’s talk about the effects of a smile on men: When men see a naive smile on a woman’s lips, they think that they are able to be in rapport and have a comfortable dialogue with that woman easily and that she probably has a fun personality. Even deeper in these thoughts is the thought that “this woman can make me happy.”
Now, I’m going to talk to you about some help I’ve gotten from my Unnamed Heroes. The Unnamed Heroes is a group of men around me. It is a group that I started with men aged 25-45 who come from different occupational careers. I want them to tell me a bit about women and their relationships with them. Thus, they’ve helped me come up with and implement a few theories. Sometimes we get together and chat for hours. Sometimes I’ll prepare questions, send email to them, compile and gather their answers, and then turn them into useful information for my books. In a sense, I’ve created my own laboratory. So, the information you get from me is not just mine but also the ideas of a considerable group of men.
I previously mentioned various scenarios to the Unnamed Heroes. I asked them to visualize the situation given and come to a conclusion.
A new girl comes into work. That girl usually has a smile on her face. What do you think of her?
The heroes’ answers all went down the same path, but, in particular, I found one of their expressions quite amusing, and so I’ll just give that one.
“I know definitely what I would think! The knees of every man in the workplace will buckle.”
That’s because a woman who is usually smiling gives courage to the men around her. She’s not necessarily inviting, but it gives men the courage to get closer to and chat with her.
By the way, if you continue to smile, your facial muscles may get tired. It’s up to you if you want to take a break or not, but please admit, you’re feeling better, aren’t you? It’s a good feeling that will create the atmosphere around you, your aura. Your aura will reflect this feeling to those around you, and those around you will be positively affected by this mood. However good you get people to feel about themselves is the extent that people will want to be around you. This is also true for men!
Let me remind you that acting like you are laughing releases almost as many happiness hormones as real laughter. I recommend that you practice laughing whenever you get the chance.
You’re waiting for the subway and you meet eye to eye with a girl and you see that she is smiling. What do you think you would do?
The Unnamed Heroes gave the following answers: “I would think that she likes me and that it would be easy to have a dialogue with her. I would also smile, and if she continues to smile, I would get up the courage to take a step to talk to think that she must be a friendly person. ‘
You’ve decided to meet up with a girlfriend for a cup of coffee. Your friend comes as well, but he brings a lady friend who you don’t even know. She’s a girl who is constantly smiling. What do you think of her?
They replied like this: “I would think that she is someone who would keep up a conversation, that’s fun, friendly, and worth getting to know. I would try to get to know her better.”
You’re dating a woman, and she always has a pleasant smile on her face when you’re together. What do you feel? What do you think?
Their answers were as follows: ‘I would think she is comfortable being around me, and so I’d be happy. I would build self-confidence seeing that she is happy with me. I begin to think that this is a woman with whom I could take our relationship to the next level.
A smiling face positively impacts everyone in general and gives men a very important message about a woman. Don’t look at smiling as just an ordinary trait. The subliminal messages hidden within smiling are also important. It hides many messages, such as being friendly, being happy with the situation, etc., which will increase your connection with those around you.
The message that you are someone he can have a comfortable dialogue with is only the first step, and this message is a very important part of what will make you getting him that much easier. You need to smile in order to get rid of the possibility that men would be afraid to come near you. That’s because men perceive this smiling to indicate a sense of friendliness, as we see in the scenarios above. You can get people to flow to you just by appearing friendly and content.
The second message you can give through a smile or being friendly is that you can be a fun, happy woman. This awakens a man’s desire and interest to get to know you more. Acting friendly is a very simple but very effective way to get him to take a step towards you and keep coming. Don’t worry about making it easy for him. Encourage him. In this manner, it’s going to be easier for you to take the reins, and you’re going to increase your chances of steering the course however you want.
In the 4th scenario, did you notice how the woman’s friendly nature and the way she seemed to be pleased with the man she was flirting with had an effect on him? He says, “…I begin to think that this is a woman with whom I could take our relationship to the next level.” If you’ve already been talking to the guy you’re interested in for a while but you’re saying that everything isn’t going as you want and he’s distanced himself from you, then maybe this is one of the things you don’t have. Instead of being satisfied with where things are at and being a friendly and smiling woman, you may have always appeared nervous being afraid that you could lose him at any time or bogged down with other anxieties. Perhaps through your dissatisfied appearance, you have caused him to distance himself. Could you have created your own bad destiny? I suggest you look at this possibility.
Don’t say, “Oh, come on, it couldn’t possibly be such a simple reason, could it?’ I say this as a man myself: If you are not smiling for a large part of the day, then you really don’t have the ability to get a man. From a man’s perspective, smiling is much more powerful than you think!
Smile… As you smile, you will begin to become his ideal woman.
One of the most intense emotional needs of men is to be strong, to feel strong. Ever since human beings have been in existence, masculinity has ‘in word’ meant strength, and all over the world, a man is considered strong and more powerful than a woman. This representation results from men being motivated by strength and demotivated by weakness.
Whether a man needs to ‘be a strong man’ or not comes from his mother during his early stages of childhood. This need not be fulfilled sufficiently results in a man not being satisfied with himself. Men who have been constantly nurtured, warned, criticized, treated like a mama’s boy, and pampered from an early age by their mother don’t have much of a chance to feel like a man. A large number of mothers in the world treat their sons like this. Furthermore, there’s a stronger ‘father’ figure at home. Thus, the male hasn’t been given the sufficient opportunity to feel that he is a man in his family. You probably understand why he wouldn’t be very satisfied with the authorities of teachers at school, his commanding officers in the military, or his boss at work. Just like a lack of feminine waft is a problem in women, there is also the problem of a lack of masculinity in men. Whether a lot or a little, all men have a hunger for strength.
Here’s a tip: The woman who feeds the most into the hunger of a man may end up being the woman that man adores the most. However, this, as I constantly emphasize at every opportunity, is not a formula that works by itself; it is just one of the pieces that will create the whole.
You’ve got to make the man you want to feel like he’s a man. As you meet his emotional need, you will see that he begins to flow towards you. No man can be indifferent to a woman who meets this need. Men flee from women who don’t play their role, try to be their mother, or remind him of their weakness. If you are to manage this process well, you will take a very important step in getting him.
What can you do to satisfy this need? I’m going to give some examples/methods below that you should be able to easily imagine. Try to understand each example that I’m going to give according to your own situation. If you currently don’t have much dialogue with that man or you don’t even know him yet, you need to view the examples I will give you like something you should do after meeting him. If you’ve been with that guy for a while already, you’ve got to internalize these examples accordingly. Furthermore, you even need to be able to ask yourself, “Have I fed into these feelings up to this point? Or have I done the opposite?” and if you see you’ve made mistakes in the past, you need to try to change them.
Men love to have people carefully pay attention to what they are talking about and to confirm what they say. Women are also like that, but this is even deeper ingrained in men. In modern times, i.e., these times where prestige is more valuable than physical strength, one of the strongest indicators that a man is strong is that “His Words Are Listened to.”
In any circle of friends, if you are together in a small group at the table and speaking about random topics and you are carefully listening to him, in his eyes you are 1-0 ahead of the other women there. While listening, you should pay attention to your eye contact and make sure not to lose eye contact as much as possible. Let him know that you are interested in what he tells you, and that will motivate him to chat with you. Ask him a question or even a few questions regarding what he’s been saying to make sure of this. That way, he will feel that you aren’t just listening politely but rather that you are really interested in what he is saying.
During the later stages of the conversation, you can add a slight glance of admiration.
At this stage, you shouldn’t overdo it with your glances of admiration. It’s too early for that as you’re just breaking the ice. But you need to make sure to show your admiration in moderation.
These glances of admiration will make him think that you are not just listening as a friend but that you might be feeling something more. Because of the pleasure that he sees you having in his words, he will also experience this pleasure and will create ‘a small world of just the two of us’ in the midst of this crowd of friends. This situation in the crowd, i.e., the situation of creating a small world for the two of you, is a situation consisting of a hidden romance, even some eroticism. And it contributes greatly to a woman and man coming together spiritually.
Let’s continue on from the same scenario. By the way, you don’t have to live out exactly the same scene. You just need to continue on from any example you can visualize in order to understand the logic of what you need to do. After you figure out the logic of it, then you will be able to apply it appropriately in any environment and condition. The important thing is for you to comprehend the underlying psychological logic underlying my suggestions.
There are several versions of Method 3. I’m not trying to say do them each one after another. You need to do them according to the situations and conditions you find yourself in.
Method 3a) Emphasizing a masculine attribute
Let’s say there was a silent moment at the table. It is precisely at this time that you should flatter him with a few short sentences regarding one of his masculine attributes and make sure that everyone else can hear it. For example, bring up a particular attribute that you like to see in a man and that you see in him. It should be difficult for you because this is the man that you like. And so, you already have a lot of material in your hands. By the way, the compliment you give him should not be fake; it should truthfully match his traits.
As if you were making a scientific finding and without a sign of embarrassment (which is very important!), you could say, “David, did you know that your chin is very masculine?” It’s a strange sentence though, right?
Yes, it is. That’s because we don’t want to see the questions those at the table will ask or the cloud of surprise regarding this kind of sentence so quickly evaporate!
“What do you mean?”
“What’s that! What do you mean when you say that his chin is completely masculine??”
You can explain confidently with a sweet smile on your face, “I mean that it is a completely masculine chin that fits the male form perfectly.” The explanation still probably isn’t quite understood, and so have fun with the moment as you try to reel it in. Draw a line in the sand by smiling and saying, “The male chin is like that here, friends.” Don’t get stuck on me saying draw a line in the sand, because your friends may still want to keep the conversation going. After all, everyone gets together with friends to have fun. Allow it, and let them enjoy it to the full. These words will remain an unforgettable moment for all!
If were to were to come to what kind of impression you are leaving on him:
Be certain that you’ve created good feelings in him. You’ve touched his masculine feelings as you’ve glorified him in the community with a compliment. You’ve also given the message of “I like you.”
Now, let’s think about and look at ‘that’ man who you like or are in love with. The logic I’ve tried to give you in this example is: What direction are you emphasizing?
It doesn’t have to be a physical feature; you can also emphasize a particular ideal trait you see in men. For example, don’t miss the opportunity of capturing a moment where he’s talking or doing a particular action that you consider a ‘masculine feature.’ Give an affirmative sentence supporting whatever he did such as “this is what a man does!’
Nobody’s perfect. We all have physical and behavioral traits that are not great just as we have ones that are great. That man you’ve fallen in love with isn’t perfect!
I don’t know how much he is at peace with himself, and maybe you don’t either. No matter how at peace he is, he’ll be pleased by this. Everyone likes to be liked along with their flaws, and this will cause them to feel more comfortable and self-confident around you. The man whose self-confidence is increased and who has had his manhood proven is like a car whose battery has been started. He won’t want to leave you, just because you’re the one who gave him this opportunity! This means that he will find every opportunity to spend more time with you.
Therefore, you should try to identify what he sees as a flaw in himself and compliment him at an opportune time. Watch; watch him! Try to find hints. Again, I’m not going to give names, but there’s a very famous Hollywood star who if you watch her closely you know she doesn’t like her hands. When she talks and her hands find their way into the camera frame, as soon as she knows, she immediately tries to hide her hands.
Watch closely! Don’t just focus on physical features. You’ll surely also find things that he doesn’t like about his personality or life in general.
Men have the natural instinct to protect. In some it’s strong in others it’s weaker but all men have this instinct. With this protection instinct, he first wants to show himself he is powerful and then others. They make inferences like “I’m strong if I am able to protect” or “She trusts me because she needs my protection, so I must be strong.” They absolutely love women who give them material to make inferences like these. The ideal woman within the subconscious of a man is the woman who contributes to the man making inferences about himself.
Let me pass on a moment that one of the Unnamed Heroes shared so that you can understand just how weird the male mind works.
“I was receiving training for my job, and I randomly ran into a girl who had been one of my classmates at the bar. We hadn’t had much prior dialogue before. We started chatting. She’s sitting on the barstool and I’m standing. Suddenly, she said to me, ‘Dein Bauch gibt mir Vertrauen und Geborgenheit’ meaning ‘Your belly gives me confidence and a sense of comfort.’ I was surprised to hear that; it was the first time I had heard such a thing. This seemed to be the same thing as saying that your posture and existence give me confidence. This sentence automatically activated my instinct to protect. Is it even possible that I couldn’t feel this way with a woman who thinks that she would be protected by me? I remember many of my emotions, such as the desire to establish a family, desire to reproduce, were activated, and I felt greatly attracted to her at that moment.”
All hail to these beings that have been called men who can take such a phrase built upon confidence and turn it into a desire to reproduce. That is how the male brain works!
This is the lesson: When you touch the masculine essence, you create much greater trembling/thoughts than you would think.
Give him the opportunity to protect you. If you can, create that opportunity.
I’m not talking about throwing yourself in front of a car or picking a fight with those at the next table. Simply asking him to open a bottle of water that you can’t give such an impression. Or sometimes you don’t even need to do anything; he can just stand by your side and protect you. In such moments, allow him to, let it satisfy his protective instincts.
Is he worried about leaving you by yourself and is offering to take you to where you’re going? Don’t say, “No, don’t both, I don’t need you to…” Let him take you.
When he tries to do something for you, don’t say, “I can do it myself; am I a kid?” Let him do it.
When he asks, “Are you cold? Do you want my jacket?” don’t say, “No, I’m not, thanks.” Rather say, “Yes, I’m cold,” and let him comfortably place his jacket over your shoulders.
When he wants to pay the bill after a meal, don’t say, “Oh, that’s not necessary. I’ll pay it.” Let him pay it.
Let his instinct be satisfied and let him have this pleasure by your side! Maybe you won’t see the effect you have on him at that time, but you’re sure to have planted a very important seed in his mind.
At the beginning of this subject, I said, “… There is a strong ‘father’ figure at home who is stronger than him. Thus, the man does not have enough conditions in his only family environment to feel like a man …” Do you remember that? Now, in this chapter, I will show you how to be the woman who will help slowly heal this wound in the heart of a man.
Whoever you are in your environment, you need to make him and others feel that ‘He’ is the one in charge. In the meantime, it would definitely help if there were a lot of people around you. That’s because however many people witness that he is in the one that can be in charge, that’s how much pleasure he will get from it.
Let’s continue giving examples from the same scenario…
Let’s say that in the scenario where you are eating and drinking with your friends, one of your friends proposes to make a change to the plan. They say, “Haven’t we gotten bored here yet? What if we go someone else?” and you all at the table begin to brainstorm somewhat. Meanwhile, you need to pay attention to what the man you like is saying. When he puts forth his idea, just focus on that; don’t take your eyes off of it. Come up with a question about the idea he’s put forth. That way, he’ll sense that you’re interested in his suggestion. Emphasize that of all the suggestions you like his idea the best and so take his side in the game.
In this example scenario, what have you done? By supporting his idea/suggestion, you have declared him the most competent person in that circle. You also have made him feel like he’s the strongest person in that place. You’ve fed into his pride. His hunger for power has also been fed. His influence among your friends has also increased, etc. This may appear to be a meaningless hunger at the moment, but this kind of prestige is very important for men!
Please don’t just focus on this scenario; it’s just an ordinary example so that you can further understand the logic behind it. Think about all the other possible scenarios.
Whoever allows a man to be in charge will in the end increase the man’s desire to be close to them. Most women don’t care about such a need men have. Most women even try to be in charge themselves instead of allowing the man to be in charge. They do this whether they’re aware of it or not. I know a lot of relationships that have broken up in the first few months just because of this. I’m not saying to leave everything up to the man, and I’m not saying that a man is superior to you. Never! However, men have such a primitive need; I’m saying to know this and use his primitive need.
According to another scenario:
Let’s say that there aren’t many people around you; perhaps, you’re in a cafe or a restaurant. Let’s say that it’s time to call the waiter. (If the waiter is male!)
The example I’m going to give is actually a lesser-known rule of etiquette. It’s a rule of etiquette found in families of the nobility. By putting what I’m about to say into practice, you will show that you are noble as well as implement our main purpose to have him feel that ‘He’ is in charge.
The rule is this
You need to look at him and tell him what you are going to order to eat or drink, not the waiter.
Doesn’t that sound strange?
It might, but it is a very important rule of ladylikeness and it is very useful regarding the area of who is in charge. In addition, it’s a great opportunity for you to get to know his mindset. If he sees this as normal, great! If he approaches it with a silly smile on his lips saying, “Why are you telling me this? Tell the waiter,” it means that he still has a way to go to be a classy man.
Whatever response he gives you, you can be sure that your message about who is in charge has reached him. There’s nothing wrong with that. This move creates in his mind the thought that ‘this woman is a woman with whom no one from the outside world can approach without her permission, and right now, just as we are together, she has put me in charge with her contact with another man/the outside world.”
Let me give you another bad example. No matter who they are, whether it’s just a friend, a potential boyfriend, or a current boyfriend, it is distasteful for a woman to call the waiter saying, “Excuse me? Could I get a coffee?” when there are other men at the table. Just as this situation doesn’t fit a woman, it also puts the man in the place of an “Ineffective Member.” Please pay attention to such things!
If you’re asking, “When I’m done with my coffee, the man beside me is not asking for more, what should I do?” you’re right to ask that. This is shameful for a man; he is not quite a gentleman. It wouldn’t hurt to bring this up openly by reminding him politely and saying, “I don’t like to order anything when there’s a man around.”
If we were to sum it up: As soon as you’re able to make a man feel strong and complete, your chances of winning over his heart/mind will grow. As a woman, this may sound unimportant to you, but don’t make that mistake. The women model I am trying to portray in these case scenarios is really important for men.
If you don’t yet have enough dialogue with the man you’re interested in, you should internalize the model that I’ve given you through these examples for when it’s time to improve your dialogue. You must be this woman. If you’ve already had a short-term relationship with him but something didn’t work out, I’d like you to compare yourself to this woman model. In the past, did you not give enough importance to such things, or did you perhaps have exhibit the opposite? Did you not allow him to be in charge enough and thus distance him from you? Take a look at these things. If the answer is yes, you should make sure not to make these mistakes in your interactions. Otherwise, you’re going to be going the wrong way, not the way where you can win over his heart.
A woman can make a man’s life heaven or hell. We’ll describe the woman who can make a man’s life heaven as the ‘Amazing/Ideal Woman.’ At the same time, this woman is the woman that is able to make her own life heaven even before the man’s life.
Since we’re there, let me emphasize this: If you change, he will change also! In other words, you need to serve yourself before you serve the man you’re interested in. When you have become yourself ‘a great woman,’ you will also largely be the same for him.
It is almost impossible to complete a list of what a great woman is, because being a Great Woman also, of course, includes being a great human being and it’s as deep as the sea. That’s why I‘m just going to take a look at the main traits that make a great woman.
- A Queen
- Jealous in Moderation
- Makes Her Surroundings Beautiful
- Romantic in Moderation
- Active & Passive
Now let’s look at these traits in detail…
The first meaning of attractiveness I will mention as a trait under the section ‘A Woman’s Feminine Waft.’ By not writing this again I both won’t confuse you and I won’t engage in unnecessary verbiage. The second meaning I am going to address is this: It’s the attractiveness that comes from cuteness.
A woman being cute creates a strong attraction in the man. Of course, just like everything else, you shouldn’t exaggerate and act like a little girl. I’m talking about acuteness that would fit an adult woman.
The Unnamed Heroes say that with women who have a cute demeanor they find them more valuable, the time they spend with them more enjoyable and that if a woman is just sexy or beautiful from head to toe, they end up finding them not interesting after a while. Furthermore, they feel that women who are cute are easier to approach and that this kind of woman is even more sincere. Attractiveness that comes from cuteness is definitely a popular trait of the ideal woman form within men.
If you’re wondering, “Who could be an actual example of what cute attractiveness is?” I can help you by giving you an example from Hollywood. The example I would give you is the character that Emma Stone plays in the movie, ‘Crazy, Stupid, Love.’ It’s one of the best examples of what cuteness as a woman is like and not as a small girl. If you’ve seen this movie, I suggest you take a look at it again so that you can see a real example of attractiveness that comes from cuteness.
The queen makes the one that makes her feel that way like the king. This is also a way to satisfy a man’s feelings that are motivated by strength, but, of course, this is not the only purpose. Being a queen also encompasses traits such as dignity and nobility. When men are around a woman who has these traits, they themselves benefit from these qualities and when they are with such a woman, they feel proud of both that woman and themselves. The queen is one of the most popular traits of the ideal woman.
And what is a Queen? How can you become a queen?
First of all, you must know that you are the only person that can make you a queen. No one and no condition can determine your worth; only you can. You’re the only authority that can determine your value. The first step to becoming a queen is to consider yourself a queen. Regardless of the situation and conditions, first, put yourself in the role of the queen in your own life. That’s even if your mother, your father, your friends, your men, and your boss haven’t acted like you’ve queen thus far! Trust me, this isn’t because they don’t see you like a queen; don’t take this personally. This is primarily due to their own sense of worthlessness.
Most people forget their own value because of the anxieties of life. Such anxieties, such as financial difficulty, the conditions in the country, effort to establish a career, trying to establish a sense of stability in life, putting children through school, etc., cause a lot of people to forget themselves. It even lowers one’s own value of themselves. Therefore, they are not able to see themselves as a queen or king. People who aren’t able to feel that way also can’t make others feel that way either.
Being a queen or king is not a trait that can be obtained by getting money or authority. This is a spirit, just like the feminine waft! People from all walks of life can activate this spirit. You don’t need others to activate it. The seed that you need to plant in your mind in order to activate this spirit is the seed of “I am the only one that can determine my own value and I am a very valuable woman/queen.” A woman who sows this seed into her mind will soon begin to see its flowers blossom. Know that both you and those around you will see these flowers blossom in your behavior, the decisions you make, your social relationships, and many other things. The things that they will see are the traits that will enlighten you such as self-confidence, dignity, and reputability.
Men uncontrollably flock to the women that make them feel like kings. Thus, in order to get him, you first need to be a queen. That’s because it is only the queen that can make the man feel as if he were king.
To the extent that a woman wants to be the ideal woman, she needs to be ‘Positive.’ In addition to giving you an advantage over all the problems you may encounter in life, being positive is one of the biggest reasons that we get pleasure out of our own existence. The biggest trait of people who make our lives heaven is their ability to see everything positively. Having a positive character structure is an important part of men-women relationships. Men who are around positive women find themselves more encouraged and stronger when facing life. That’s because just like men know that a positive woman won’t cause them problems they also know that they will help them solve problems calmly and thoroughly.
Even in the most difficult moments, a woman who knows how to be patient and resolute, look at events positively, and who speaks and smiles sweetly is quickly appreciated in the eyes of men. That’s because, in the subconscious of men, he infers, “This woman may be the sole woman who will give strength and support to any I give to solve a problem.”
The male person will begin to make inferences about you before your relationship has even begun. As you get closer or when you’re going out, he will continue to make inferences about you. He will begin labeling you based on some of your traits. The more these labels match up to his idea of the ideal woman, the better chance you will have to win over his heart.
One of the details that I often see in the stories told by some of my clients is that they have shown so much negativity towards the men they want to get and that the men have begun to move away, and yet, they are still saying “I don’t understand why that happened.” They are unable to see some things that are so obvious.
If you continually tell the man bad prophecies that he won’t be able to get the job that he wants, if you keep telling him that he is always playing bad games if you keep telling your friends all the problems you’re having with him, if you’re always complaining about your troubles, and if you constantly look negatively at and tell him about everything that happens within his circle, what could you possibly be expecting to get out of this? The man will be fed up with all of the problems you’ve burdened him with! His mind is fed up; his spirit is fed up!
The relationship with a client was going well at first, but she began to complain that the man was slowly distancing himself from her and he was beginning to not answer her phone calls. It is a very common approach! I asked this client to tell me what they did and talked about together. What came out of her! Not like the place/location, they would meet, not liking the food they ordered out, saying things like “why did you wear this color; if you had worn the white shirt, it would have looked better,” criticizing that man to her friends, etc. In other words, the woman’s rhetoric was largely negative!
I used this woman as an example as she made a mistake that most do, but you don’t need to be so negative that you’ll lose the man. Even if you were slightly negative, it means that you have lost/will lose a point with him. If you can, try to be a positive person throughout life, but if you’re not able to do that, at least be a positive woman around him.
Jealousy is a very important factor that very, very, very much affects the course of a relationship between a man and a woman. Just as it may take the relationship off the cliff, it could also take it as high as the heavens. The level of jealousy you have and how you show it determines which one it will be.
Jealousy is not only important after you begin a relationship but also during the process before it begins. The man you want to impress and get may not like being jealous of. He may see a jealous person as a person without class. He may like being jealous of a little.
If he is a man who doesn’t like jealousy, and you are jealous of other female or male friends around him, and you are testy with him because of your jealousy, then you will get a negative checkmark on the scorecard.
Most of the time when the storm of jealousy you are feeling on the inside shows its face it does not express jealousy. It doesn’t give the message, “I am jealous of you because I love you.” Initially, they see that you are testy; say, “She looks like someone who is rude;” think that you are insincere, think that you are incompatible with them, etc. So, at first glance, they usually don’t see someone who is jealous but rather other uglier things.
I’ve had a lot of clients who at every first chance are testy and rude to the man they’re interested in because they are jealous of other women. I’ve met a lot of women who put down that woman they see as a competitor and humiliate her in front of the man they like… If you want to look like the devil to your circle of friends and that man, then you can model yourself after this type of woman.
The story of one particular client goes as follows: The company she worked for organized an event to celebrate something. The guy she liked was one of the people who led this organization, and he’s interested in our girl as well. It’s a huge party, and the guy she liked had to attend to and talk with a lot of people during that party. Our girl is jealous that the guy she likes is always talking to others. When she got the chance, she motioned to the man she liked to come over. Our girl, my client, said, “Whatever happened, happened after that night. He asked me not to meet for a while.” When she asked why, the man responded, “Even though you saw that I was working, you kept motioning to me here and there. What’s up with that? And when you were doing it, it was like you were calling for your poodle.”
Oh, what jealousy gives birth to! The man sees the woman doing meaningful, ridiculous things, and the body language she uses when she calls him over makes him feel like a poodle. I mean, the man isn’t saying, “You’re jealous because you love me, oh dear, I can’t do that to you.” You’re jealous because you’re interested in him. You might think that your actions will look innocent because they’re out of love, but they don’t! They first see you exhibiting testy behavior and think, “She looks like someone who is rude!” they think that you are doing meaningless and testy things, that you are incompatible, etc.
Don’t destroy your reputation!
In some cultures, jealousy is seen as you not valuing their love and not caring about them. It’s not that you can’t be truthful, but when it begins to be repulsive, when you begin to limit the freedom of the man you are interested in, or when it gets to the place where you overwhelm him or reduce his quality of life, it’s only a matter of time before he begins to doubt you and your love for him. This is a very fine line; you need to be careful not to cross this line. In order for him to think about having a future with you, he needs to be sure that you will not be jealous and do anything ridiculous towards him. He needs to know now that you will restrict his freedom and do ugly things out of jealousy. He might get joy out of a naïve jealousy that doesn’t result in meaningless pettishness, but not in excess. A great woman is the one that can adjust this.
I’m going to measure your degree of jealousy in bonus book no. 2. If you are at the place where the man you’re interested in has deemed you ‘disagreeable, lacking in self-confidence,’ you need to discipline yourself regarding this as soon as possible. Otherwise, you might lose your chance to win over his heart. A jealousy that is too much and uncontrollable, will obstruct you from being seen by him as attractive even if you do everything else right. Jealousy is powerful enough that it can end your relationship before you’ve even begun. Please take this seriously.
You can measure your degree of jealousy in bonus book no. 2 called “The Jealousy Test & Don’t Be Captive by Jealousy,” and learn how to discipline it. If you want to, you can look at that book now, but I would recommend that you look at that book after reading the rest of this section, “Being the Great Woman that Will Adorn His Dreams.” I’m going to remind you again when this chapter is over.
Being alive, full of energy, and cheerful have a tremendous impact on men. But when saying be energetic, don’t be hyperactive; don’t overwhelm him and those around you!
People who are constantly on the move or in conversation create a perception problem around them. After a while, our brain shuts down in order to prevent the flow of useless, pointless information and visuals. We feel tired and seek quietness and tranquility. You know how you find yourself in front of someone talkative and even though you are looking at them after a while you find yourself not hearing what they are saying but rather thinking about something else. So your focus is no longer on them, but your mind has drifted off somewhere else. Be yourself; don’t put yourself in this place just because you want to be energetic. Don’t allow your energy to overwhelm people and him in particular.
Singing along with a song playing in the background, laughing about something funny, sharing special things you see while walking around, and similar other things are examples of a vivacious livelihood. Just having the attitude where you capture every moment in life is enough to make others feel that you are energetic. Men love this. The thought of being with a woman who can get a hold of a better life is one important motivation that will cause him to draw nearer to you.
Let me give you a tiny example: Let’s just say you’re at the same job or the same school. If you were to say ‘Good morning’ to him when he walks into the picture like you were a zombie who has not woken up yet, how much do you think you would brighten his day? But if you were to say ‘Good morning’ with your face lit up, life in your eyes, and even a smile on your lips, then he’ll see that you are energetic, and he’ll end up being full of energy, too.
A client was unaware of it, but she was a living corpse. She was 26. She was a woman who was slow, whose glances were without life, and who seemed to have no energy to speak. Now, when the man who she was platonically in love with wanted to go somewhere and have fun with the group of friends they were a part of, our girl couldn’t seem more apathetic. In reality, she didn’t realize it, but she already seemed apathetic and lifeless to many things. One day, she heard something she didn’t like. The guy she liked told their group of friends, “What if we don’t invite her? She doesn’t seem to like being with us and it’s pretty discouraging to me.”
Another client of mine experienced a change later. She said, “I used to be full of energy, but I don’t know what happened afterward.” The guy she’d been dating for three months didn’t like this change. He criticized her by saying, “When we’re awake, asleep, hanging out, or even making love… you are always down. You weren’t like this,” and he openly made it clear that he no longer had any interest in her simply because of this fact.
I have a lot of examples about this subject, but there’s no need to give them all. He might not even know you’re interested in him yet or perhaps he shares your feelings or you may even already be dating, but it doesn’t matter; if you are not energetic, in the end, you will lose him. Be energetic, enjoy life, and be a woman whose alive so that you will not lose the heart that you have the ability to win just because of this.
Great women make their every environment beautiful. This is like a walk in the park for them. In fact, they don’t even need to put forth an extra effort to do this; it just happens. Like a flower… Imagine a bouquet of flowers placed in a vase in a rundown house. The environment would change in an instant, and the flowers wouldn’t need to do anything for it to happen; it would just happen. Their presence is sufficient. That’s because flowers are naïve, colorful, and awaken positive feelings in people. It’s not just about visuals; these aren’t words just about visuals. It encompasses character, behavior, and visuals.
You need to make your surroundings beautiful with your colorfulness, naiveté, and by awakening positive feelings just like a flower. The more he sees you like this, the quicker your relationship will start/develop. You become such a woman would even be a factor that will increase the degree that he falls in love with you in the future.
One of my clients, with three of her friends, had to go to the house of a man who she liked though he did not reciprocate her feelings. This man had to leave the country in an emergency. As he hurriedly packed his suitcase, our girl found his house in disarray, and instead of waiting, she said, “Let me clean up his house instead of just doing nothing.” The others just sat around and had fun while our girl cleaned up the house. When his suitcase was packed, they left the house and went to the airport. When she said goodbye to this young man who she liked, he looked at her differently. She said, “The way he looked at me totally stuck in my mind; he never looked at me like that before.” After the man returned back, they got together one night and went out to have fun. That night the guy was very close to our girl. A different kind of closeness than before! As their dialogue progressed in the next little while, the man confessed and said, “That day, I thought of you the whole way on the plane. It really wasn’t that you cleaned the house or that you lightened my load. I was impressed by the character that was behind your effort to do good to me. Even if you didn’t do it for me but for someone else, I’d have still been impressed. You made me think, ‘It’s only people like that that make life easy and beautiful.’ I was very impacted by that day.”
Another client of mine was trying to break up a fight between girls and by getting them to compromise, she gained the attention of the man she was interested in.
I have so many examples. Let me conclude by saying…
As you try to make your surroundings beautiful, beauty will also flow to you! If you want to be the ideal woman cemented in the male mind, don’t be surprised by doing/being good for others. That’s because as much as you can make the world more beautiful that’s how many points you will continue to earn on his scorecard.
To be a liberator is to be pro-freedom. The biggest freedom is to be free of external factors to make a decision based on one’s own will and thoughts. We shouldn’t just want this for ourselves but for others as well. Great women are like that. She doesn’t restrict others’ freedom but rather supports it.
Suppose that there is someone who meddles with what you wear, the words you say, where you go, who meet with, i.e., in short, all of your preferences and decisions. Would you enjoy spending time with them? This person might be your mother, your friend, your boyfriend, etc. People always want to be near the person who gives them freedom and allows them to be completely themselves. Exactly that! None of us want to be around anyone who puts restrictions on us.
This is one of the most common mistakes made by women. They put restrictions on the man they are interested in beyond what they should. There are many women who do this not after becoming involved but even before.
The man, who was previously overwhelmed by a controlling mother and who was not able to fully develop himself as a man due to a more powerful father figure at home, does not want to experience this same restriction when he becomes an adult. He can’t imagine being involved with a woman he doesn’t think he can live with.
The more you try to build a hegemony over the man you want to impress, the more you will push him away from yourself. Some of you may not be doing this at all; others may be doing it knowingly. Some of you may even be doing this without realizing it.
When I hang out with my group of friends, I see a lot of similar cases. Some of my fellow men are pretty sick of the commands they get from their girls.
“Didn’t you drink too much, honey?”
“Didn’t you just smoke a cigarette? You’re lighting another one?”
“Why are you continuing to see him? I said I didn’t like him!”
“I asked you to delete that girl off of Facebook, why is she still on your friends’ list?”
Dozens of interventions when you’re going out or even just a friend!
Don’t make this mistake. Don’t play house; let him be free.
Think a lot about these; you might be making this mistake without realizing it even though you have good motives. Take a look at yourself; if there are any words you say that are putting restrictions on others, quickly get them out of your vocabulary.
You need to make him feel that you are the one that will always allow him to be free when you begin your relationship or before you’ve even begun. You need to make sure that this will continue in the same manner after your relationship has started. But this is important: You need to prove this with your behavior not just verbal promises. When he looks at you, you need to make sure that he doesn’t think, “If we go out, she will meddle in everything and interfere with me.”
When I look at the big picture that I’ve gathered from the relationship stories told to me by my clients, I see that “Freedom” is a big topic that has been an important reason that some relationships have ended before they’ve even begun. The complaints such women receive are pretty similar to each other.
There are numerous relationships that haven’t even begun that have similar complaints as…
“I think you will click to my life like chewing gum.”
“I’m not comfortable when I’m with you.”
“I feel like I’m being squeezed in a vise.”
“You’re pressuring me”
You need to be careful with regards to this so that you will not take steps that you won’t be able to take back. That’s because once you give the impression that you are not a liberator, it will be very difficult to change that impression. That will interfere with the chance you have to win his heart.
Too much romance wearies out love just like playing hard to get!
You can be sure that over-the-top romantic situations are a bit too much for a man.
If the man across from you does not reciprocate your feelings at that moment, it gives rise to an awkward situation. So be careful!
Due to how men work, there isn’t much room in their life for flowery imagery. If you burden him too much with flowery thoughts and situations, it will give rise to a system error. A great woman does this: she doesn’t burden the man she has eyes on with romance until she understands how romantic he is. Or let’s say this great woman has decided, “Yes, he is a bit romantic;” then, she will allow him to feel romance, but won’t force him into that world or blame him if he doesn’t enter in. It’s enough to just make him sense it; she leaves the decision of whether to enter in or not up to him.
You need to carefully watch the man you have eyes on. You need to figure out how much his romance pulse beats. Examine his actions; try to make inferences based on them. Do you think he’s a romantic guy? If he is a man who enjoys romance and you are a romantic woman, you don’t have to just focus on this, but if the man is too interested in romance or perhaps not at all, don’t pull him into romance. Regardless of whether you are writing or face to face!!
Many people like to be talking a lot with the people they like before or during dating. They want to be with them at all times or at least be in constant contact in some way. This is a desire that is strong and difficult to suppress. The easiest way to fulfill this desire is by texting the person either through WhatsApp or similar channels. They want to text back and forth for hours without interruption. In reality, almost all of this texting is just meaningless.
You’d think that people would think! I wonder if they want to do it that much. I’m saying this for both men and women. Particularly, I’m telling this to all who are in love. You need to be a bit slower! Perhaps the other people are texting us back just because he doesn’t want to offend us or be rude. Who knows? Maybe he’s saying, “Come on, this is ridiculous, enough already.”
This is one of the most common problems people complain to me about. “We started dating, and everything was going well, but after a while, he stopped responding to my texts.” When I asked her what she did after this, I saw by her responses that most women in love start texting and calling even more.
You shouldn’t text a man more if he has slowly begun to not respond to your texts. If you do this, you will begin to paint the image that you are a ‘woman who meddles.’
Some get angry and start sending even more texts full of reproach saying things like “why aren’t you paying attention to me,” others send texts telling him how much her love for him is special to her, and even others start texting things like “you aren’t man enough.”
Don’t make these mistakes! The woman lying in the subconscious of a man is a cool woman and cool women don’t do that. Remember, you might be very, very fond of him, but what if he doesn’t show you even a tenth of the attention that you are showing him? Then, that’s when the texts that you are enjoying immensely become a torment for him. When you call him, you might get so much pleasure just hearing his voice, but if he’s not as interested in you, he’s
not going to get the same amount of pleasure you’re getting. Don’t be selfish. First, see if he’s going to get/is getting the same amount of pleasure out of this. If he is, then there’s no problem, but if he’s not, there’s a big problem! That’s how you will quickly lose the chance you have to win his love.
Don’t limit what I’m saying to just texting or phone calls; it also includes getting together face to face. It includes everything that he might not want to do with you. Regarding what you’re planning to do, you have to ask yourself, “Yes, this is really fun for me, but is he having fun, too?” Whatever you’re planning to do with him, you have to ask yourself this question. If your answer is not a definite “yes, he will/is enjoying it,” then you need to leave him alone. This way, you’re both not going to smother him as well as you’re also going to gain a reputation in his eyes.
I witnessing a lot of guys around me go through this. There are so many guys who say about the girl they’re dating, “The girl is good and beautiful but a bit clingy. I feel like I’m in prison. She’s always wanting to text, talk on the phone, and be together… she’s wearing me out.”
Be careful and don’t give any man an opportunity to think these things about you! Be patient. Let your relationship develop slowly. It’s not important to get to the end quickly; the important thing is to be slow and achieve a happy ending.
I’ve observed many women and men over the years. I am pretty good at making observations. When I began to use this ability not just for myself but for my friends as well and then started trying to gain a wider audience by turning it into books, I really began to pay more attention. I’ve seen that this is one of the most common and widespread traits of women who are unable to make an impression on men; they are either dominant or overly passive. It doesn’t matter which of these two opposite sides you are, you won’t be able to become the ideal woman ingrained in the male mind. That’s because the ideal woman lying deep in the subconscious of men is completely balanced regarding this.
We totally admire and appreciate people who make all sorts of decisions about their own lives, right? That’s because this is an indicator of their inner strength. Because when it comes to men and women relationships or dating/marriage the point in question is two lives becoming one, sometimes both sides need to make a decision. They share their roles. Just like sometimes there will need to be a mutual decision made, sometimes one of the two will take a more active or passive role.
Imagine you’re in a relationship. In order for it to remain healthy, some decisions will require that you take a more active role while others will require you to take a more passive role, right? Sometimes you do life through coming to mutual decisions.
If a man sees that a woman is always trying to dominate decisions, he’s going to think that she is not a good woman for him. And the opposite is true that if he sees that the woman is always passive in making decisions, he is going to think that she’s not a good woman for him.
In summary, you need to pay close attention to this when you meet a man that you want to impress or when you are in the process of letting him get to know you. Don’t be dominant and don’t be overly passive. If you’re already dating him but something doesn’t seem to be going the way you want it to or if he breaks up with you while your relationship is just beginning, take a look at this. Are you a dominant or overly passive woman? Could this be one of your issues?
You shouldn’t be a woman who has the attitude of “I don’t know, my man knows” or “I know everything and whatever I say goes.”
Some women might even be ‘strict’ with men even when they are still friends. There are women who put strict rules on the man making sure that he doesn’t think that she’s wrapped around his finger or that she’s easy. Some women do this without even realizing it. In all honesty, they are even dominant with their female friends, because they have a dominant personality. Everyone normalizes what they have within themselves. It doesn’t matter if it’s actually not normal. She can’t foresee that this thing, which she normalizes, is going to have a negative effect on men.
The same applies to the opposite side of things, passivity. Not having any rules won’t work either. If you do everything the man wants, that makes you a woman without an identity.
You can’t be the ideal woman for any man who sees that you are at one of the opposite ends of this spectrum. If he sees that you’re balanced, it will increase your chance of getting him. You need to keep a balance. If he sees that you only see your own decisions as logical and insist on this, and at the same time you put down and don’t pay attention to his choices, he’ll anticipate that he won’t be happy with you.
One of my clients was in love with a man she was friends with. The man didn’t know she was in love with him. One day during a conversation, the man told our girl, “I feel sorry for the man that’s going to be your boyfriend. If you treat him like you do me, I’m sure someday he’s going to tell you, ‘You make me feel like a worthless, useless man.’”
This woman client of mine didn’t realize it but she was really dominant. I said, “Why don’t we together figure out why he said this to you?” We began to discuss everything that had happened up to this point. Through our discussion, we found quite a lot of things. My client was in love with this man, but even when they were together, she had no respect for his choices. She didn’t even realize this. She only began to realize it when I pointed it out.
– There’s a great movie playing at the theater, should we go? / My client’s answer: No, look at this movie, it’s better, let’s go see it.
– I planned my career this way / My client’s comment: It’s not a good plan; you should rather do this instead.
– I met this guy in the gym, he’s pretty funny / My client’s comment: I know him; he’s not really all that funny.
– Next summer, I’m saving up money to take you to Bali on vacation. / My client’s comment: Why Bali? Isn’t Turkey better?
I mean, as if the guy was just an idiot and our girl is the cornerstone of this relationship!
If you were to say, “The decisions, choices, and suggestions made by the man I like really are all wrong or ridiculous. Should I still accept them?”
No, if that’s really the case, of course not, don’t accept them, but I would say, “If that’s the case, what do you love about the guy? Don’t focus on a guy like this; get out of there while you can.” But if the man is not like that, then you need to give him a chance!
We identified a ton of expressions for this client that was similar to the above examples. I told her how much she would distance even a female friend, not just this man, with such expressions.
If you are always the one scoring, then other players stop enjoying the game. Sometimes you have to let him score, too. That’s when the game begins to be fun for him and he continues to play with you.
If you can’t achieve this balance, you’re not compatible with the ideal woman ingrained in the mind of men. If you don’t want to make him think that “she makes me feel like a worthless and useless man” while dating or even before dating, then you need to avoid dominant attitudes and words, and you need to achieve a balance between being active and passive.
There can be an adolescent boy within even the most dignified of men. Men can sometimes be like a horse about to break free. They won’t show this, but even they are aware of this. That’s why they will keep a tight rein on themselves when they’re with a woman and they love to gather themselves. However, they love women who will be a mature friend, benefit them, and make life beautiful rather than those that act like a mother and exaggerate everything or those who ware overly dominant.
- The traits that are non-negotiable for a man when it comes to the ideal woman are the woman who allows him to be strong, peaceful, and safe with her,
- Who he’s proud to be with,
- Whose idea he can lean back on whenever he gets stuck,
- Whose ridiculous behavior he won’t have to defend,
- Who he won’t have to cover his own back,
- And who is able to represent him better than he can himself.
I call all the traits of the ideal woman in his subconscious ‘maturity.’ Men want to know that they can use a mature woman’s ability to schedule things, complement his weakness, and organize when they need to. Whether or not they use it is up to them, but knowing whether or not a woman has these traits is a serious concern for men. It’s also a good feeling for them not to have to deal with a particular woman as if she was a little girl.
Some dictionaries define maturity as A person developed in knowledge, etiquette, and discretion.
I’m also going to give you how the Unnamed Heroes and let’s see what a mature woman is like in the eyes of various men:
-Stores up facts such as the accumulation of knowledge,
-Way past the age of behaving whimsically,
-Is able to say what’s on her mind directly without stuttering and able to prolong life with her pleasant conversation,
-Solves problems rather than creating them,
-Understands the situation and is able to make it better,
-Doesn’t play stupid love games,
-Able to make those around her feel her inner peace,
-Able to sit down and pour out her heart for hours,
-Knows how to be calm like a stream and exuberant like a river,
-Gives blood and meaning to life,
-Apologizes, forgives, and changes the subject when necessary,
-Helps others mature,
-Senses as developed as a wolf’s,
-Doesn’t make a mountain out of a molehill,
-A blessing for the man who she allows to be the apple of her eye,
-Upfront, honest, and shows integrity,
-Knows how to sit down, get up, or even jump,
-Able to handle events with discretion,
-Looks into it before believing,
-Doesn’t hold back her love and doesn’t know and use her hatred,
-Knows that every problem has a solution,
-Knows how to get pleasure out of life,
-Gives peace and confidence,
-Unashamed to be a woman,
-Non stuck up,
-Knows both herself and her man.
While reading these definitions, you may recall many scenes from your own life. You might be internally thinking, “Yes, my attitude was quite mature there” or “I could have acted more maturely then.” Our past is important, but so is looking to the future. If there are things that you need to develop when it comes to ‘maturity,’ you can make some corrections using each of the definitions above. You need to act like a mature woman in every situation. As you mature, you will see that men, who are gentlemen of a sound mind, will begin to love, trust, and respect you.
One of the things that will bring turn your success into failure when it comes to winning a man’s heart is transparency.
You may think that you’re honest, and maybe you are really honest, but there’s something I’ve witnessed many times. I need to let you know about this. And, it’s this: When I listen to the stories of women who consult me, I see it quite common that no matter whether or not a woman is honest, if she is not transparent enough, men begin to raise a lot of doubts about her, and this damages the positive course of the relationship.
Not telling him something that he should know isn’t necessarily a lie but it does show you’re not transparent. He might even start seeing you as untrustworthy. Because of that, you should know that if you are not open enough with him before you have even begun a relationship or after you start it, you can lose him. Those who had already been together for a while before he broke it off with them will now better understand the importance of being transparent.
Let me give you a common example: When you are dating a man and you get a text from your ex, women unnecessarily feel the need to hide this. They think, “I don’t want him to think that there’s still something between my ex and me,” and so they try to put their phone in their purse or do something else that arouses suspicion, and the man begins to suspect something is up. Later, he goes into her phone somehow, learns that it was a text from your ex, and begins to argue. No matter what you say, you will always hear him say, “If nothing is happening, then why are you hiding it?”
If you’ve experienced this, you know what I’m talking about; no matter how good your motives are, if you try to hide things unnecessarily, you will raise a lot of suspicion within the man’s mind. He will begin to think that you are not trustworthy. Whenever you’re with him, he’ll think you are seeing other men. Or at the very least, he’ll think you’re foolish.
This so common happens. Don’t do it! Always be transparent. If you get an unexpected text from your ex when he is there and in the message, there’s all this sweet talk, don’t panic; open it up and read it to him, and then say, “Maybe he doesn’t know I’m in a relationship. I’m going to let him know that I’m in a relationship, and it’s going great so that he doesn’t get the wrong impression.” It’s that simple. Don’t make simple things difficult. This transparency will cause him to trust you more. Why take an unnecessary risk by trying to hide this text?
A text coming from your ex is just one example. You should be prepared for other situations. For example, let’s say one day he calls you to get together and that day you’re really tired. You can say, “Can we get together another time?” But then, let’s say something that day happens and you have to leave your house quickly. Let’s say you don’t tell him and he sees you out and about. What would you tell him? Put yourself in his shoes; look at what he sees. Wouldn’t you see a liar?
Don’t risk it. Call him right away and say, ‘Honey, we put off getting together, but something’s come up and I don’t want to but I have to leave. I’m calling you to let you know.” If it’s possible and you’re able to get together with him, you can say, “Why don’t you come along,” but if it’s not possible, just letting him know that you’ll be out is enough. It’s that simple. Infinite transparency, zero risk.
Always choose to be transparent whether friends or dating. Transparency is one of the ideal woman’s strongest traits. Don’t be afraid of anything; don’t worry whether you’ll upset him or he’ll understand you! It’s better to upset him than to be seen as a liar. If you have to choose between the two of these, choose transparency.
Some things you may do to impress him may end up badly. One of my clients tried to show off her life a bit differently than it was to the man she liked in order to impress him, and she lied a bit. This lie led her to tell other lies in the days that followed. This is how a lie works; you tell one and you keep having to tell more. After a series of lies, the man caught her in a few of these lies and told her, “I was starting to like you, but I don’t want to see you anymore.” He stopped getting together with her. She wanted me to help her and said, “Now how am I going to fix this; how am I going to win his trust back?” Such situations are really hard to correct, and in some cases, they may even be impossible. Don’t take such risks!
In the chapter ‘Being the Great Woman that Will Adorn His Dreams,’ so far we have dealt with the common traits of the ideal woman ingrained in the subconscious mind of men. You might think that you have many of these traits, and maybe you really do. Even if you do, you need to figure out what traits you need to emphasize on as well as which ones you need to keep at the forefront and which ones you need to keep in the background. If you don’t have most or some of them, I hope that reading this book has given you the chance to create the necessary change. At the very least, you need to make a mindset change, but, of course, it will take time to assimilate all of these traits into who you are. It’s your job to water the seeds that I’m trying to plant in your mind. If you try to move on from just memorizing this information and rather implementing it into your own life culture/character, then your behavior will slowly begin to change. If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll see the necessary changes in your romantic, work, and social relationships
Now, there’s going to be two other subjects that I’m going to discuss under the heading of ‘Being the Great Woman that Will Adorn His Dreams.’ First is the topic of finding the special trait(s) of the ideal woman particular to that man. The second is ensuring the balance between you two.
Choosing a lover or a spouse is one of the most important choices in our lives. That’s because the person that takes on this place in our lives is the biggest door for us to the world. If we are with someone who has a broad horizon, our world will also; if we are with someone who is pessimistic, our world will slowly get darker. Anyone who knows this is much more conscientious about choosing their lover or spouse. They will make their choice more on logic rather than feelings. For example, choosing the right partner for themselves.
I don’t know how conscientious the man you are after is and I don’t know how good he is at choosing a woman that would be the right fit for himself, but we have to assume that he’s conscientious about it. Or, at the very least, even if he isn’t fully conscientious about this, we still have to accept the fact that he’s going to subconsciously pursue his particular ideal woman.
Up until now, we have looked at 12 common traits of the ideal woman ingrained in the mind of men. Now, you are going to have to find the specific traits of the ideal woman particular to just ‘the man you want to get.’
I’m saying that you need to figure it out because only you can do this. I can only remind you of the importance of this issue and tell you that this is a detail that you should not overlook.
I wrote this before and I’ll write it again, “Don’t rush, be patient, improve yourself and then make your move.” I am still saying that. Don’t rush and wait; don’t be afraid that you’re going to miss him. Don’t do your moves until after you’ve finished the book. That’s because there’s still more to explore.
In the process of waiting, there are situations where you need to observe and adapt to what exactly you need to change about yourself. And now, we’re in one of those situations.
The first step to finding the specific trait(s) of the particular ideal woman in his mind is to observe. You may not always figure out an answer because you may not have met him yet, you may not have spent enough time together, or you may not have been able to gather enough clues about it. There’s nothing you can do about that. But I need to point out that getting clues as much as possible if you get the chance will give you a great advantage. Keep this in the corner of your mind!
The things you see below can create the chance for you to discover the specific traits of the ideal woman in his mind.
-Any comments he made during a conversation,
-An incident that a friend told you about regarding him,
-A Hollywood star he’s a fan of,
-The lifestyle or traits of a woman in his family or circle of friends that he admires,
-A character he loves from a book,
-What kind of women his exes are like,
-The person you’ve witnessed him pay attention to in any situation independent of you.
You can find some clues from many things, situations, and events. You need to be a good observer and catch the details. If there are any traits you’ve discovered, you need to implement these traits in your own life. Only then will you become the ideal woman of his subconscious.
But as I said before, this assignment is not easy. It may be rare for him to display clues, and even if he does, will you be able to catch them? I don’t know. Your ability to observe is a very important factor during this stage. If you’re not good at observing and you can’t find a clue, you need to know that just trying to do this will give you a great advantage. Don’t forget to take this opportunity if you’re given it and try to discover the specific trait of the ideal woman in his mind. By adapting the trait(s), you will discover that you have become closer to the ideal woman, and as a result, he will begin to like and admire you.
If men see that they are incompatible and worlds apart from a woman, then they will begin to find the woman unattractive. Pay attention! I don’t want to say that they won’t find them completely unattractive, but they will find them distasteful. In other words, exactly the thing that we don’t want!
Of course, you’re going to have differences with him; we’ll definitely be different than even our sister, but if these differences are creating a chasm between us and you are not backing off of him, then you need to know that that you will likely end up losing him. You really need to determine whether there are any situations that will create a chasm between you two, and then you need to work on it and bring it to a place where it can be understood and ignored. I recommend that you don’t try to get closer to him unless you have brought your incompatibilities to an ideal level. Otherwise, you could frustrate him. You shouldn’t ever forget that once you frustrate a man, it’s usually impossible to get him back.
Now I’m going to tell you another story that’s been shared by the Unnamed Heroes. Through this real-life example, I’m going to try to show you how wrong it is to make a move until you’ve brought your incompatibilities to a reasonable level and how much this exact mistake can frustrate that man.
Note: This real-life story comes from a handsome 32-year-old man.
“Because of my work, there is a particular woman that I talk with on the phone and at times meet face to face. We’ve known each other for about 5-6 years. From my perspective, she’s just one of my colleagues. About a year ago, she decided to divorce and took her husband to court. After making this decision, she began to call me and want to meet with me more frequently. Over time, I realized that she was interested in me. I pretended not to notice the interest she had for me behind her suggestive comments and unnecessary phone calls. I’m not usually intimidated by women who are interested in me that I’m not interested in unless they step over the line and their actions border on psychological harassment. However, I would pretend that I didn’t understand these suggestive comments, and in the end, trying to manage her wore me out so much that in the end, I said, “What are you trying to say? Say it openly? That way I can give you an answer.” I tried to express to her kindly and in a way that didn’t offend her pride that I didn’t see her this way at all and that for me she was just a colleague. We dropped the subject.
Fortunately, she started calling me less, and when she did call, she wouldn’t extend the conversation and only talked business. I had relaxed quite a bit… But unfortunately, this didn’t last long. After a while, she began to start trivial stuff. Once, her divorce proceedings had come to the last hearing, and she said that as soon as it was finalized she would move to a summer house with as many palm trees as heaven, and then she immediately said, ‘You should come with me.’ That upset me quite a bit, and I raised my voice and said, ‘Why in the world should I come?’ She responded, ‘Don’t you get it? I want you.’ Even though I was incredibly angry, I didn’t throw this back in her face. Man, the woman was incredibly fat! Even though her face and overall temperament was beautiful, the woman didn’t realize that I wouldn’t want a woman who was like me who was attractive and constantly exercising and keeping herself in shape. I told her politely that we weren’t going to be able to have a relationship but she continued to anger me by trying to pull me into a relationship. I told her, ‘Even though I’ve told you that I am not interested in you and only see you as a colleague, you want me to be your husband, so let me put it this way: Your physique is not compatible with me, so I don’t find you attractive. The fact that you are still trying to start something with me is getting on my nerves.’ She doesn’t bring up this subject anymore, but everything that she’s done in the past has caused me to respect her less, and I’m still upset with her.”
As you can understand through this real-life story, you can lose your value in his eyes if you don’t try to decrease the chasms between you and the man you are after. Putting losing value aside, the worst that could happen is you frustrate and offend him.
It’s not just about physical traits. It can include everything, such as character, temperament, lifestyle, etc.
For example, let’s say the man you like is a complete bookworm, he’s an intellectual, but you are someone who won’t go beyond reading the tabloids. We can safely say there’s a chasm between you.
-He might be tempered and you a complete ditz.
-He could be an anti-war activist and interested in such world issues, whereas you may be a woman who wouldn’t hurt a fly and has no sensitivity to what’s going on in the world.
-He may hate cigarettes, and you a chain smoker.
Each of these is a chasm between you. You’ll only be decreasing your chance of getting him if you don’t create some compatibility between you and decrease the existing chasms to a reasonable level. You need to figure out what obstacles and chasms there are between you and being the woman that would be right for the man that you are after. You need to know him before you act. That’s because being a great woman also encompasses knowing who the best woman for that man would be.
I understand that your love makes you impatient. You want to date immediately, and this desire is very normal, but don’t lose to this feeling. Don’t rush and act selfishly. You need to see both the advantages and the disadvantages of this relationship from both side and you need to act on this unselfishly.
If the woman in the story had gone down the right path, not rushed everything, and first fixed her physical appearance and then developed traits that that man liked, she might have gotten him. However, because she did what she needed to do at the end at the beginning, she lost the man she was interested in forever.
Now if you’re saying, “Oh, losing weight can take months or even years.”
Yes, it might be necessary. Rush and win the man’s disfavor, or be patient, wait, and win his interest. Which makes more sense?
Don’t forget; it’s extremely difficult to warm up a seriously cold heart. Sometimes it can even be impossible. Why risk it? Be patient, change yourself how you need to, and then make your move. That way, you’re going to reduce the possibility of being rejected to almost zero.
We’ve come to the end of Being the Great Woman that Will Adorn His Dreams. To sum it up:
- You need to adapt to the 12 common traits of the ideal woman ingrained in the subconscious of every man,
- You need to identify and adapt to the specific trait(s) of the ideal woman particular to the man you want to get that is different than other men,
- You need to maximize your compatibility with him.
If you can do that,
- He will begin to be attracted to you, because he senses you are compatible with the woman in his subconscious,
- He’ll want to spend more time with you,
- The more time he spends with you, the more he’ll get to know you, and thus, he’ll begin to love you even more,
- As you become the ideal woman, you will have gotten rid of the various factors that will keep you him from falling in love with you, and thus your relationship will continue smoothly,
- Because he’ll be happy, peaceful, and proud around you, his loyalty to you will quickly increase.
This will be the process you will go through, but as I’ve mentioned whenever I’ve gotten the chance: You can’t succumb to love and become impatient. Try to water the seeds I’ve sown in your mind through this book. Don’t try to just memorize the information I’ve given you, but apply it to your life culture/character. As your behavior changes, you will also see that your work life and social relationships as well as your love life will develop.
You can go on to bonus book No. 2 called
Body language is one of the most important elements of nonverbal communication. It’s the real interpreter of emotions. Body language is a tool that confirms the truth of what we’ve said verbally and allows us to express things that we can’t with words. As you know, the topic of ‘Body Language’ is a very, very broad subject. But right now, we’re not going to worry about every detail of the science of body language. I’m just going to tell you a few looks/moves that you can use to make an impression on the man you’re after.
-If you’ve never met him.
-If you’re acquainted but he’s not aware of your interest
-If you’ve already been dating for a while.
Whatever your status is, you can use all of the following methods.
Tactic 1: Let’s say you’re already dating him, and you’re going to the place you’re going to meet up. Or let’s say you’re not dating, and he doesn’t even know who you are. If you’re a student, you’re going to school, or if you’re a businesswoman, you’re going to work, and let’s say you just keep running into him. have a chance to meet her as you enter the school or enter the workplace if you’re a businesswoman. Whichever of these scenarios fits you:
Do this with your body language even before you run into him or before you come eye to eye when going to the place you’re going to meet: facing directly towards him, walk towards him and keep smiling. Don’t wonder if he’s going to see you, do it as if he were. If he sees you, you’ll get some points, but if he doesn’t, you won’t lose anything. If you do meet eye to eye, don’t look away, keep smiling. This is a method that will pass your passion onto him. A man who experiences this will have butterflies in his stomach.
If you turn away and stop smiling when he looks at you, you won’t have the same effect on him. He won’t get the exact message that you like running into him. So, you need to keep eye contact with and smile at him the entire time you run across him (and if you talk with him, the entire time you’re talking…) After you get through this stage, you can occasionally glance away.
If you notice, the two actions I’ve given you regarding eye contact are the exact opposite of each other. In the first case, you look and smile at him boldly, and after you do this for a while, you shyly glance away once or twice. These shy glances will give him the message that you are excited and shy. Thus, you’ll make sure he feels the same excitement deep down. This feeling of excitement is something that will trigger passion in men.
Tactic 2: In some of the moments you come eye to eye with him, think, “Here’s my man.” This inner thought will be reflected in your gaze as passion and taking ownership. Suppose you’re an actress in a play; your line is: ‘Here’s my man, here’s my man, there’s my man.’
Try to look and smile at him boldly in conformity with this line. The next step is to think, “I can’t take my eyes off of you,” and in the same manner reflect that in your gazes. Act as if you are trying to make him feel those lines in your gazes. The last step is to think, “Now, I’m starting to feel a little embarrassed,” and try to reflect this in your gazes. So glance away.
So in summary:
- “Here’s my man”
- “I can’t take my eyes off of you”
- “Now, I’m starting to feel a little embarrassed.”
I call it a Captivate and Imprison gaze. It’s very effective on men.
Tactic 3: You need to increase the number of times you blink when you are eye to eye with him. You don’t have to reach a specific number. You just have to increase how much you blink, but don’t overdo it and look absurd. The increase in how much you blink will send the message that you desire an emotional connection. It will make him feel that.
Tactic 4: Such things as touching your hair, twirling your hair around one of your fingers, or playing with your hair has an aphrodisiac effect on men. You’ll end up increasing his sexual attraction.
Tactic 5: Glancing at a certain point on the area known as the triangular area (think of a triangle connecting his lips and chest) for a few seconds has the ability to increase a man’s emotional interest. During your conversation with him, look at a place you choose between his lips, chin, neck, and chest.
Tactic 6: If you tap your nails on your bottom teeth, he’ll think you’re sexy, but you need to be careful with this action. If you remember, in the book “Make Me Over,” when we talked about the subject of body language, I told you that you shouldn’t cover your mouth with your hand. You can practice this in front of the mirror to where you find the most aesthetically pleasing form where you will not cover your mouth completely. During the conversation, if you keep eye contact and rub the side of a glass with your fingers, he’ll find you sexy.
Tactic 7: Let’s say you’re standing and talking about something. When you make a joke or something funny happens, step 1-2 small steps backward and then immediately take 1-2 steps back to where you were. When you do this, your face and your body should be completely facing him. I call this the tide and flow movement. It creates a collision between both of your auras, and it will increase his attraction to you.
Tactic 8: When you’re wearing a tank top, give a pose where he can see your underarm. You could do something like straightens your hair where he can see your underarm. This is a move that will increase his emotional closeness to you.
You’ll know what he’s feeling the more you read his body language.
The most recognizable positive body language for men are as follows:
- His smile
- Soft eye contact or glances at you in regular intervals.
- Running his fingers through his hair
- Nervous or relaxed body language
- His body facing you
We need to look more into a couple of these.
1- Some men are very comfortable with the women they are interested in, and other men can be quite nervous or anxious. He might look like a statue, and he might not even be engaged in conversation much. If he expressed uneasy and anxious facial expressions or body language, this isn’t necessarily negative. He may not be a man who is comfortable with the woman he likes. He may be displaying his anxious body language because he is shy around you. And that’s a positive for you because it shows that he is interested in you. So, to summarize, sometimes ‘Anxious Body Language’ carries the same message as ‘Relaxed Body Language.’
2-There’s something, in particular, you need to pay attention to when it comes to eye contact. Pay attention to whether he blinks his eyes more when he’s by you or talking to you. Check whether there is a change when you are far off but in his line of sight, and compare it to other times. If there is an increase in the number of times or the frequency in which he blinks, it means that he wants you to come emotionally closer to him.
The most recognizable negative body language for men are as follows:
- Stiff movements
- The lack of a need to have good posture/hunched posture
- Stiff glances instead of soft eye contact
- Clenching his fists
- Facing his body away from you
- Grinding his teeth/clenching his chin
- Focusing on something or someone other than you
-If he is often giving off such negative body language, then you may need to leave him alone. But don’t despair. That’s because men only show negative reactions to women they dislike or hate. The other possibility is that something might just have been bothering him that day, perhaps he is having a rough emotional or financial time, perhaps he is suffering from despair or depression for a reason which we don’t know.
If he is clearly annoyed, you can ask him about this area without pressing him too much about personal issues. He might want to get something off his chest. Even if he doesn’t want to talk about it, at least he’ll know you care about him and will feel closer to you. Don’t make him talk about it, just ask. If he does answer you, listen to him carefully, and if he doesn’t answer, don’t push him.
-Figure out if his negative reactions are directed towards you. Think about it; is there anything you might have done that upset him?
If you can say, “Yes, that’s possible,” then apologize to him and look at getting his heart. Never just be proud and talk about how good you are. Make sure he knows how constructive and positive a woman you are by apologizing to him. Be as mature, patient, and understanding as you can, regardless of the reaction he gives you at the beginning of the conversation. This will allow you to soften him and enter into his orbit. Thus, you can melt the ice and make the most of your opportunity to show him that you are a Great Woman.
Let’s continue with where we left off in our scenario:
(Note: Just as I have said, this scenario is only an example much like any other. You don’t necessarily have to live out this particular scenario and maybe you won’t ever, but I am trying to help you understand a particular logic of how and what you should do in any situation. After you grasp the logic, you’ll immediately know what you need to do in any situation you may face.)
We last left off with the example of “him not wanting to talk because he was annoyed.” What are we doing? We should never insist; we can’t give into this. It’s normal, he might not want to talk about and remember an unpleasant situation he wants to get out of his mind. If he’s desperate, he might not want to declare that he’s desperate. There are many reasons for this. Don’t take it personally that he doesn’t want to talk about it! When you don’t take it personally, you can easily reflect it in that Great Woman you are trying to develop! If you were to personalize any event or attitude, you will reflect it as a woman who is unnecessarily proud, has an attitude, touchy, moody, embarrassed, shy, lacking in self-confidence, and weak. Were any of these traits among the traits of a Great Woman? No, they weren’t.
If you take every issue personally, you’ll miss every positive impression and effect you’ve tried so hard to leave. So, don’t personalize anything, be calm, and be a great woman!
So how would a Great Woman act in such situations?
People aren’t too talkative when they’re in such a mood and they may even want to be as quiet as possible and rest their minds. If you’re with a couple of friends sitting together, he probably won’t engage much in the conversation but he’ll be watching and listening to you. In the meantime, if you’re looking and facing him, you will make sure he doesn’t forget you’re at the table. Don’t force him to speak, but talk about something yourself. You need to express your thoughts on every topic that comes up in the conversation with calm and grace, and you shouldn’t forget that you are the “Great Woman.” If something comes up that is quite funny during the discussion, and he’s not laughing, make sure you don’t either. That’s because it may come off as if you’ve forgotten him and what’s bothering him, and thus, you don’t care about him. He may end up sitting even more sullenly thinking, “I’ve weighed everyone else down with my problems,” and in the end, you may make him feel even worse. He may even try to leave so as to not burden you anymore.
Throughout the conversation, it’s enough to just give a slight smile to show that you aren’t burdened down with his problems/You need to not appear like you’re having a blast so as to show him that you are sharing in his pain.
Don’t say, “Oh, honey! Why’s he going to care what I do when he’s so upset?” Men are better observers than women give them credit for. At any given moment, though they might not seem interested in you, they’re definitely interested in what they feel. If they perceive something, a movement, or a feeling that they are interested in, they’re going to pay attention to the woman who brought that about.
Whatever the scenario you’re in, there are many ways to show that you are a great woman. For example, you can rightly reflect that you are a great woman in your words, attitudes, and reactions to events or situations. However, it’s the way you show yourself towards other people and not just towards him that’s going to earn you points with him. Show him you are a great woman. When he and your friends are hanging out and chatting when you’re at a particular event when you’re speaking to him one on one… Don’t shy away from showing him yourself. Besides, if you’ve become the Great woman, there’s no reason to be shy, because he will see that you are a great woman.
We want to see you develop your relationship with each other becoming the right part for each other. Let’s see him make the necessary moves to start or continue this relationship.
Do you know what one of the most common mistakes women make is? They get angry at something for some flimsy reason, tell him, “Fine already, I don’t want to continue like this,” and then they cut off the relationship. Then, they come to me, and they ask how they can get him to fall back in love with them, and they want my help. Fine, but how can I get a guy to fall in love with you when you don’t have an opportunity to even see him anymore? I’m not a wizard waving my wand. In that you’re still in love with him, why did you get offended and build a wall between you two in the first place? How can you get a guy to fall in love with you that you’re not even hanging out with?
Don’t make that mistake!
-He might look boring/unhappy,
-He might respond late to your texts, or not even answer at all,
-He might spend more time with other women,
-He might be getting together with you, but his interest isn’t enough to satisfy you,
-He might have something come up at the last minute when you’re about to get together, and he might postpone getting together with you,
-There are many different reasons for getting offended…
Usually, either this offense comes from either ‘Jealousy’ or ‘He doesn’t value me enough.’
DON’T GET OFFENDED! DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY! BE PROFESSIONAL!
Determine your values. You shouldn’t be in love with a man who constantly offends you or acts dishonorably toward you. In that case, you’ll definitely be written off; don’t waste your time on him. But if he hasn’t done anything bad towards you, determine your values and check your emotions. If you still want him, then don’t get offended; you shouldn’t be impulsive and do something that will cut off your relationship.
You can’t expect a man who you’ve cut off due to your own impulsivity to get to know you, to be impressed by you, or to fall in love with you! You end up pushing him towards other women. This is no different than sawing off the branch that you’re standing on. This is creating a problem just where you are.
“I regret it now; how can I get together with him again?”
You can come up with a thousand reasons to come back, but how impressive will you be once you return? This is an important question!
That’s because you can destroy every trait of being a Great Woman in one moment of impulsivity.
1- You’ve lost your charm,
2- You’ve contradicted the principle that only the queen can determine her own worth,
3 – Your positivity has been put on hold,
4- You’ve become a woman who has an attitude and is proud rather than being a woman who beautifies her surroundings,
5- He hasn’t felt that he can always be free around you as you have acted negatively towards his desire to be free,
6- We don’t need to even talk about maturity!
Can you see how in one move you’ve destroyed six traits of the great woman!
If the root of the issue is an issue of ‘Jealousy’ and if we add this to what we’ve talked about above, then 7 of the 12 traits of the Great Woman can be destroyed without a single action. In summary, what I’ve been trying from the beginning of this section
1- Not taking things personally,
2- Not making mistakes that will end/cut off our relationships,
These are very important issues that need to be paid attention to.
Of course, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have any pride at all. Since you won’t be falling for a man who is going to destroy your pride anymore, you automatically won’t need to try to get him. But just like the relationship story, I mentioned above, if you are still going to love him and passionately try to get him, you need to remember that coming back from being offended is going to be quite difficult. You need to be prepared for the worst from the beginning and to avoid being impulsive.
- If you go to the corner not wanting to see him like an offended child,
- If you fight with him and build a wall between you two,
- If you say that you don’t want to see him and that everything is finished,
- If you block him from WhatsApp, Facebook, etc.
Coming back from doing things like these is going to be quite difficult and sometimes impossible
This is a very important point if you want to continue to get together with him every day allowing him to get to know you and showing him you are a Great Woman! Don’t ever stop being the great woman and continue to get together with him without hesitation. Believe me, in the end, you’ll get a positive result.
The more you align your emotions with him, the more you’ll win!
It doesn’t matter whether you’ve just begun to date or if you haven’t even met, if you don’t align your mood with the man you’re after, you’ll end up preventing him from identifying with you. The more you align to his mood, the more he’ll identify with you.
For example, if he looks a little offended one day for a reason and you look very happy when you’re next to him, you’re going to keep him from identifying with you. I know, I’ve told you to be energetic under the “Energetic” section of being a Great Woman, but in such moments you have to adjust that energy in such a way that he’s not even more distressed, but rather as a sensitive woman, you have to tone your energy down a bit, respecting his distress. In other words, you have to be on the same frequency as him. Definitely talk with him about what he’s bothered by; I’m not telling you you shouldn’t ask him anything just to look sensitive! If you’re not close enough to do this, don’t ask anything; if he’s quiet, be quiet, and if he’s serious, be serious.
Please envision this: you are with 5-6 people chatting in the schoolyard. Others are laughing, the conversation is dense, there are a ton of jokes being made, but he’s quiet. If you align your mood with him, he will identify with you. This is one of the most important things you can do to get the guy you are after to identify with you.
Or in the same scenario, the others are dull, but if the guy you’re after is highly active and alive; then, you again align your mood to his. Maybe you’re not a student, you’re a businesswoman, and the guy you want to impress is your coworker. You’ve gotten together over a coffee break, and you’ve sensed that that day he’s a bit emotional and so you’ve aligned your mood with his.
This time, does he have some ideas about some politicians on his agenda, his mind, or his tongue; is bringing them up from time to time? You should give some weight to those issues as well, and show that you agree with him.
Does he have a personality that stands out because of his great frugality? Then you should also share some ideas about how most of us spend so much money on things we don’t need.
I could share a lot more examples, but I think this is enough for you to understand the logic. Think of the hundreds of possible variants of the scenarios I’ve given above. The closer you align your mood to him, the stronger the bond he will make with you. You can even make him see you as soul mates this way.
Of course, there’s a bit of information I have to give you; don’t do ridiculous things just to align your mood with him. I don’t know what the personality and disposition of the man you’re after are like or how rational he is. I’m not saying that if he’s a crazy nut and makes fun of everyone that you should do the same. Or let’s say that you’re at a party and he’s drunk and is making a fool of himself, I’m not saying you should do the same. Remember you have to take the initiative based on what you see. If he’s not great, it doesn’t matter; you keep being good/great. Maybe you can’t win him over, but you’ll win a real prince in the future.
We just talked about another important detail. I said, “I don’t know what the personality and disposition of the man you’re after are like or how rational he is. If he’s not great, it doesn’t matter; you keep being good/great. Maybe you can’t win him over, but you’ll win a real prince in the future.”
Now, I don’t want to just these words as is but want us to delve into them a bit.
We’ve continued to emphasize that you must be great. That’s because you were the one who needed this book, and we had to imagine that the man would know your value in order to bring you to be a woman with who he’d find no fault.
But what if the man you like and want to impress is a huge prick, let alone a great person? I know you see him as perfect right now. But didn’t you think that about your exes at the time? Do you still think that about those exes who you were so in love with but who are no longer in your life? Your answer is probably no! If that’s the case, you might think differently about the guy you’re after in about 5 months or 2 years. Never forget about this possibility. As you get to know the man you want to get better, perhaps he’s one that will never see how ideal/great a woman you are.
Supposed he grew up with a mother who had psychological problems, who was very aggressive to her child, and that’s why he has a problem with the love that he’s learned from his mother. Therefore, he might feel better with a woman who is harsh rather than gracious.
Suppose that he comes from a family who has normalized lying, and so for this reason it’s frustrating when it comes to honesty. Liars don’t like honest people, because they don’t feel good about themselves. For this reason, he might feel more comfortable around a woman who lies and is not trustworthy than one who is honest and transparent.
Suppose he’s not self-confident, and he’s a jerk who wants to exalt himself over people. This type of person cannot identify with people who are respectful and loving and who behave properly. Therefore, instead of a woman with a regular personality, he’s going to want a jerk of a woman who laughs at his mockery of others.
In summary, maybe you’re going to find out that this guy’s a guy you’re not going to be able to put up with because of your own temperament!
Such a man will not understand the beauties of a great woman as he won’t understand the attractive traits of the universally accepted ‘good man’ model. There’s not much you can do if you happen to get into a situation like this. It doesn’t matter what you do to men like this, you still might not get a positive result even months or years later. Before you start jumping on yourself and saying, “Have I not been good enough?” or “Was I unable to become his ideal woman?” try to first figure out whether or not you have the ability to see the great woman in you. Don’t blame yourself for anything, lose confidence, or feel like a loser. I’ve already said, “Only after you’ve read the entire book set, make the necessary changes and be sure you’ve become the ideal woman,” and I’m going to add something, “If you are certain you are the ideal woman and despite this you still haven’t gotten a positive result, figure out first whether he has the capacity to even see your beauty before you beat yourself up.”
Of course, if the guy is in a normal state of mind, don’t worry. As you continue to take all my advice and do everything right and continue to be the perfect woman without hesitation, you will eventually see the beauty within yourself and you will have achieved a happy ending, but don’t destroy yourself for the latter. Don’t frustrate yourself over anything. Save your ideal woman for a real prince!
I don’t think you’re going to need what I’m going to tell you about in this section and the next, but since I need to take into account the worst, I have to tell you about some possible bad scenarios. Also, you still need to read the books “Chat with Him” “Meeting and Developing a Dialogue with Him.” That’s because I haven’t directed you to read those books yet. These are the books we’ve left till later. When you’ve read the entire set of books, have learned everything I’ve given you, and implemented it perfectly, if you’re still not getting the positive development you should be, then you need to look at what I write in this section and the next. Of course, I’m writing this in reference, not to the man I’ve explained just above but if the man is in his right mind and you are still not getting the result you want.
First, You’ll have to identify the reasons that you’re not getting the result you want.
Think deeply about possible reasons for this. If after you’ve finished the entire book set you realize that there are some suggestions I’ve made that you have not implemented perfectly, then I would suggest you go back and read those sections again. Could there perhaps be something that I’ve told you that you’ve missed? Doing this will benefit you greatly.
If the underlying reason that he is not as interested in you as he should be is not you and it’s something else, then you need to do an importance/risk evaluation. In other words, you need to evaluate how important the things that are preventing him from being interested in you are.
Let me list for you some of the most basic obstacles, their level of severity, and what you can do about it…
He doesn’t want a new relationship
What to Do in a Situation Like This:
Keep calm. Continue putting into practice what we’ve talked about but stay away from any demeanor or speech that will force him into a relationship. Don’t worry about it; when he decides he is ready for a new relationship, you might be the first person he thinks about. He might have just come out of a difficult relationship. Perhaps he’s closed himself off to a new relationship because of difficulties and disappointments that came about in that relationship. He needs to completely clear his mind. Until he has completely cleared his mind, he’s not going to want a relationship even if he really does like you. Continue being a great woman. Don’t get discouraged, reduce your energy, take it personally, or fall into despair.
He’s interested in someone else
What to Do in a Situation Like This:
Don’t drop your guard immediately. Today, he might be interested in her, but after a month, he’s interested in you! It’s not the end of the world that the man you’re interested in is interested in someone else. It’s not the end of your relationship with him. If you really love him, don’t give up on him. He might not be interested in someone else for long. Keep being a great woman. Don’t get discouraged, reduce your energy, or fall into despair
He’s started dating another girl
What to Do in a Situation Like This:
My answer is the same as the ones above. That’s not enough reason to give up on him. I’ve seen so many relationships that have ended in just three days. Protect your friends and continue to hang out with them; don’t be a bad woman, but as long as you continue to be a great woman, you will always have a chance for more. Besides, if he’s started dating another girl, that could be an advantage if you know how to use it. Try to observe the girl he’s dating, so you can figure out how she is different than you. Think of her as a guinea pig. You’ll be able to see certain areas of your life that you need to develop. Pay attention to what he likes in the girl and what he doesn’t. Try to pick up as many clues as you can and use them to your advantage. For example, does he really like a certain way that girl acts? If you don’t do the same, incorporate it into your lifestyle. Have you seen something that he doesn’t like in her? If you have and you do the same thing, stop doing it.
It turns out he’s gay
What to Do in a Situation Like This:
I have to write this because these types of cases come up often. There’s nothing you can do in this situation. You can still be friends but take him off the list of potential lovers.
He’s decided to marry someone else
Severity: Important / This is a serious problem
What to Do in a Situation Like This:
Couldn’t the situation change at any moment before the vows are said; aren’t there any situations where they separate at the last minute? Yes, there are, but what if that doesn’t happen?
I’m going to go into more depth about what you need to do in this situation in the next section. Meanwhile, your job here is to evaluate how much you really want him before you do what I’m about to suggest. Are you proceeding passionately trying to get him or have you put romance aside and has this turned into passion? Or, perhaps are you really in love with him and unable to think about life without him? Think very well about this, because your answer will be vital. Think with a calm mind. Would life without him be no different than hell?
If your answer is yes, then it’s time to be more open with him.
First, let’s divide the potential statuses into two categories:
1st status: Those that would say, “He’s about to marry and I’m going to miss out on him.”
2nd status: Those that would say, “It’s not marriage or any other urgent situation. He doesn’t see any problems or obstacles between us.” I did everything right, but he’s still not interested.”
The thing that I would recommend to those who fall under either of the two statuses would be for those that fall under the first status to think about this 10 times and for them to be really certain about their emotions. If your life is going to really be worse without him, then continue.
-If you fall under the second status, you believe you’ve done everything suggested in the book from the beginning, you’ve become that Great Woman that is going to adorn any sane man’s dreams, you are certain that you have shown your own greatness to him, and there is no chasm between you two, then continue.
The step you’re going to take is to let him know how you feel.
If you fall under the second status, there’s really no urgent situation that you have to make in time. If you’re saying, “I’m not ready to declare my love for him,” you can leave your situation to time. This is up to you! Of course, you need to continue to get together and allow him to get to better know you. You’ve got to become closer (without suffocating or overwhelming him) and spend as much time together as you can.
I can’t offer the same comfort to those who fall under the first status, because the guy you are after has decided to marry someone else. So you don’t have time to lose! You need to express your feelings in a mature and calm manner. If you don’t believe you can live without him, you don’t have another choice! Don’t see this as “being a woman who is going to destroy a family. Besides, there’s no family formed yet. Furthermore, no one has a monopoly on anyone else.
He has the right to know how much you are in love with him!
In this way, he will realize he has the ability to decide who is the best wife for him and you will give him the opportunity to make the best decision he can. Don’t be afraid, when you let him know how you feel about him, be sure that he will begin to compare you to the one he is about to marry and look further at his choices.
Think about it: Perhaps he’s not having a love affair with the person he’s planning to marry; perhaps this is just a marriage based on rationality, and if he were to know how madly in love you were with him, maybe this would please him more. Who knows?
In human psychology, there is something called ‘Giving Priority to the Requestor.” Let me describe it as follows: You’re applying for jobs and submitting your CV. While you are waiting for a response from these places, suddenly you get a job offer from a place you haven’t considered and to which you haven’t even submitted your CV. You start thinking about this work that you had never considered before. Do you know what happens in most cases? We accept jobs that are offered to us and not the ones we’ve applied to. That’s because we believe the workplaces that have offered us a job will know our worth even more. We believe we’ll enjoy working there more.
One of the most common suggestions my grandma gave me was: “Don’t marry the one you love the most but the one that loves you the most because she will be the woman who makes you happiest.”
In doing that, know that you haven’t done anything wrong towards him or the woman he was about to marry. Perhaps, you’re giving him the opportunity for a happier future. If such a day comes, don’t think too much about it. You have to be a woman who fights for love. Whatever the answer you get, you need to turn this uncertainty into certainty.
First, you need to know that it’s not easy for men either to declare their love. Most men see declaring their love as “the way of suffering that women expect first from men.” However, when women declare their love, they like it.
I asked the Unnamed Heroes, “If a woman were to come to you and declare their love, what would you think of her?”
Their answers were as follows:
– “I would find her interest attractive, and I would be amazed at her self-confidence. I would think that she really did love me because she was so bold. I would absolutely love it if she was a woman that I was also interested in.”
– “This is the place where you become captive of the girl that did that. That she could flatter your ego, that she would leave her own ego for the sake of the one she really loves, that she would not be able to hold back from saying this, that she would be full of such emotion.”
– “A woman that can declare her love is truly a woman that should be worshiped. This situation would certainly show that the woman was confident. It signals that she values the relationship and will fight to be together. If you had even the slightest amount of interest in her and you let such a woman go, you’ll be beating your head against the wall. That’s because you might not see such beauty again.”
– “It’s completely possible, completely normal. It’s not that this has happened to me a lot, but rather that I think this is a completely human thing to do and so I would not be surprised by such a declaration.”
– “Making a declaration of love has nothing to do with your sex… If someone is in love, they usually say it, they should say it. This is the act of a true lady who has overcome her ego, and I would kiss her forehead the first time I got the chance.”
– “If a girl were to declare her love, I can guarantee you she’s in love.”
– “If he’s not a jerk, he has some communication skills, and you are certain, then what are you waiting for? I think that telling him how you feel, indulging him in moderation, trying to please him, and sharing whatever you have inside you are good things. Of course, a girl declaring her love might not get great results from someone who has no self-confidence or that keeps a score.”
– “In such a situation, it’s possible for the guy to say no, and this scares the girl. We also don’t want him to say yes just because he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings. But, there are some girls who just don’t care about this. They speak candidly, and while I’m cursing inside out of surprise, they get what they want. It’s something that I’ll applaud them for.”
– “I did the math. Those that have declared their love for me have loved me more than those who I declared my love for.”
-This is one thing that makes a woman attractive. And extremely attractive. To go against the cliché that a man has to make the first move, to be decisive, self-confident, bold. That is admirable.”
– “She’s added it all up, weighed the pros and cons, and has come up to him with the slightest hope that he won’t reject her feelings or her herself. The woman who goes up to a man puts her heart, her pride, and her ego out there. It is the purest, most naïve, profitless, honest, indefensible position of a woman. She is spiritually naked in front of him. She deserves respect.”
– “It is an act demanding respect from a respectable person. If your answer is no and your reason for rejecting her is something menial, then you will be crushed as a man. Yes, she declared her love for me, and she is the one I most respect after my parents.”
If after all these positive comments you are still hesitant about expressing your love, I would suggest that you reconsider whether or not you are in love. That’s because if you are holding back from doing something it means that you don’t really want to go there. Putting everything aside, if you’ve come to this place, you really don’t have another choice.
If you noticed, I haven’t recommended that you express your love up until now. The reason for this is that most women don’t want to express their feelings in words. Furthermore, the purpose of this book is to make you into the ideal woman and as a result of your actions, to ensure he comes to you himself. That’s because at the beginning declaring your love is a big risk. He might not want your love, and you might not get an opportunity after that to remain friends and have the time and place to implement some of the tactics that will make him fall for you. You could end up ending your relationship before it’s even begun. Also, there’s a ton of principles you need to apply from the issue of compatibility all the way to becoming the ideal woman. You might think you’re in a good place when it comes to these, but if you can’t properly evaluate yourself or you make a move too early, he might end up disliking you. In short, there’s no risk in trying to get him to come to you himself, but declaring your feelings at the beginning is a big risk.
But now, the situation is different. You’re not in at the beginning anymore. You’ve done everything you’ve needed to do, the time has passed, but there’s still no progress. The worst thing about it is that we are assuming you are losing the guy. Letting him know how you feel is your last chance!
If there’s no other choice, many women in the world are able to do this easily, without hesitation or embarrassment. Also, when it comes to the topic of your ‘last chance for love,’ there is nothing like winning or losing. There certainly is some form of love, and if this love has reached a critical point, you declaring how you feel is a completely normal situation.
If a woman is ambitious, determined, and capable enough, there is nothing she can’t do.
If you fall under the 2nd status, your job is easy. You need to let him know how you feel in a natural way without trying to look impressive by embellishing everything. Why shouldn’t you embellish? Because your self-confidence and desire for him will impress him enough by themselves. Also, the pure emotion of love is radiant anyways. For this reason, you don’t need to embellish anything. Overdoing it will cause it to lose its impact.
The Main Idea:
You’re going to talk clearly and understandably how you’ve been interested in him for ….. time, and for this reason, you’ve observed him, and after observing him, you feel that you’d make a great couple. The main idea is this, but the choice of words and phrases is, of course, completely up to you. You should tell him that you like his ………. Traits and that these traits will complement your traits such as ……….
Please don’t use such teenage expressions as, “Ohhhhh, I can’t liiiiiivvve without you, I looooovvvee you so much.” Of course, you can tell him that you love him but never like this! You need to act like a collected, down-to-earth, mature, and noblewoman.
-If you fall under the first status, you’ll need to tell him basically the same things as above, but since we’re assuming he has made a serious decision like marriage, you need to talk longer and more in detail. You’re not bringing up something that’s trivial; you’re doing something that could change the course of both of your lives. You can’t just take the first step in talking about this, a topic that could last for days, and say, “I love you, I don’t want you to marry someone else,” and leave it like that. Don’t cut it too short, but don’t overdo it either by going into unnecessary detail. When you discuss the main idea that I mentioned above, you need to delve into it more. Tell him how compatible you are. That way, at least you will have ensured that you’ll talk about your relationship out loud. If you do this, his brain will begin to think about this. He will begin to compare you with the other woman. Even if he doesn’t tell you, he’ll begin to think, “Is this woman a better choice than the woman I’m about to marry? Is she a better fit for me? I wonder if I would live a happier life with her.” When you are done talking, add this: “If you are marrying because you are in love with her, of course, I don’t want to interfere, but if you’re not in love with her, it might be worth giving us a shot.” Leave it at that and let him think about it!
I need to tell you again that you should not overwhelm him, suffocate him, or act like an adolescent toward him when you are talking. Also, you need to make sure you avoid any actions or words that will upset him or that will make him think you are in trouble after he gets up from the table. Remember, you are a great woman. If you haven’t been able to show him up to this point, this is your last chance.
Above, I mentioned that “you need to make sure you avoid any actions or words that will upset him or that will make him think you are trouble,” because this situation is quite common. While a woman tells a man about her feelings, she doesn’t’ think this would happen, but the man interprets her words very differently. I want to let one of our Unnamed Heroes explain this with an example.
Unnamed Hero’s story is as follows:
– “We master students sometimes had to take the same course together with undergraduate students. That’s when a senior undergraduate girl got a crush on me. I didn’t know about this. One day, I got a text. The text said that a girl wanted to meet with me. Since I didn’t know her and there was no name to the text, I was highly doubtful about it. I was wondering if some of the guys were playing a prank on me, and so I didn’t respond. About 1 hour after the text, I got a call from a number that wasn’t in my contacts. When I picked up the phone, I heard a girl’s voice, and she said that she wanted to get together with me. I said okay, and we met at a café. When we began talking, the girl told me that she liked me. Everything was going well up until this point until the girl pulled out a notebook and began to read off things she had found out about me. She had Googled my full name and wrote down in a notebook where I had graduated from high school, which university I was accepted to, and even the number of my undergraduate degree (this was what really bothered me). After seeing this, no matter how much I had liked the girl, I started thinking she was a psychopath, and I politely rejected her offer. After that, I began to avoid her. The number of undergraduate degrees can definitely be frightening…”
The girl in this relationship story didn’t have any bad motives and perhaps only wanted to show the guys she liked how much she was interested in him, and maybe she highly valued all this information all the way to the number of the undergraduate degree, but this is a great example of how bad an impression you can leave on someone even if you don’t do something out of malice. Your declaration of love can be misunderstood and you could be a woman he avoids. So, you shouldn’t forget that what is desirable for you may be undesirable for him.
By the way, there’s one more important detail here; did you notice it?
He says, “After seeing this, no matter how much I had liked the girl, I started thinking she was a psychopath, and I politely rejected her offer. After that, I began to avoid her.”
The important detail is this:
The Unnamed Hero actually liked the girl. He liked her all the way up until she pulled out her notebook. If that particular thing had not happened, he would have continued getting together with the girl, and there was a chance they would have begun a relationship, but the girl had overdone it and gone so far as to write down the number of his undergraduate degree much like an intelligence agent. This created a bad impression on him, and while she had had a chance to get the guy she wanted, she lost her chance.
In order to avoid leaving a wrong impression, we need to carefully look at each part of this story and keep it in the corner of our minds. Pay attention! What you may see as romantic or something that will show him how much you love him may cause the guy you are after to avoid you.
A Happy Ending
This movie needs to end happily ever after. That’s because the script was prepared with great care to this very end. If the main actress in our movie fulfills her role to a T, reaching a happy ending should not just be a dream.
‘A Happy Ending’ is the point where all people with good hearts should eventually arrive. I believe this with all my heart. Even if life sometimes gives us moments where we think, ‘it didn’t work out like I had hoped,’ in the end we should see that ‘The Good Always Wins.’
If you reached a happy ending, please send me an email and let me hear about it. That’s because I care greatly about the place you will arrive at. Even if you think that a lot of time has passed, you’ve done everything wrong, and there is no indication that you are headed towards a happy ending, share that with me as well. But before you share it with me, please be sure that you have become a great woman he can see and have correctly applied everything in this book. Otherwise, you’re just wasting your time on me. I will try to figure out why you haven’t been able to see anything positive come about by asking you series of questions. If I see that you have skipped any of the suggestions I’ve given you in the book, I’ll charge you 10 times the price of this book. 🙂 It’s not because I love money; I’m saying this to make sure that you are certain of where you are and where he is at before you write me. If you haven’t skipped over any of the suggestions I’ve given in the book, then I will evaluate your situation completely for free, and we’ll look at what you can do together.
I hope you find that happy ending and that in the end, you find happiness…
Don’t forget to read bonus book no. 4, “Meeting and Developing a Dialogue with Him”
After you read bonus book no. 3 “Chat with Him”
Copyright © 2010 by RooninStark
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Publisher’s Cataloging-in-Publication data
A title of a book: The Art of Getting Him / RooninStark.
1. The main category of the book —Self Help —Other categories.
2. Other subject categories —Dating Guides.
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